


Brewing Expressions

by KitsuneItsuki



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bad Flirting, Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Bathroom Sex, Blood and Violence, Blow Jobs, Consensual Somnophilia, Drama & Romance, Drinking, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, Hand Jobs, Hatake Kakashi is a Good Teacher, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, House Party, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Mile High Club, Obsession, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Painter!sasuke, Past Drug Addiction, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Semi-Public Sex, Violence, barista!Naruto, sasuke has anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2019-11-07 08:32:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 39,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17957156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitsuneItsuki/pseuds/KitsuneItsuki
Summary: Stuck in a cold American town, Sasuke, a college painting student lacks inspiration. He has the talent, drive, and technical ability to pull off anything - except make something interesting.  That is, until he spots a certain loud, blond barista. It could be the end to his failing grade, and the end to his years of monotony.In which Naruto sparks light back into Sasuke's world and in return gets saved himself.(Updates regularly)





	1. Inspiration

**Author's Note:**

> HI! This is my first long fic I've ever written, hope you like it! Come bug me on twitter @kitsuneitsuki - I draw lots of smut ;)

     “You’re uninspired”, he said. If it didn’t come from the only teacher in this god forsaken school that Sasuke respected, it wouldn’t hurt so much.  Kakashi had pulled him aside after class to chat about his upcoming fall collection of paintings, “It’s just not enough Sasuke, it’s bland. Has no taste.  There’s no passion to it.” The words rang through Sasuke’s head in time to his hard footsteps crunching the fallen leaves.  _ Not enough, not enough, not enough.  _ He knew the technical finesse in his art is years above any of his teachers, Kakashi included, so when did that become not enough _ , not enough, not enough. _

     He pulled his scarf closer to cut out the cold wind, Sasuke sighed to himself his eyes not lifting to the grey clouds filled with impending snow.  The small midwestern city was quiet, bundling itself up ready for frost; only Sasuke’s breath coming in small irritated huffs stirred the air. He knew he was falling behind the class at this point, if Kakashi’s concerned looks over his work wasn’t enough, the paintings spoke loudly by themselves.  No amount of hours spent staring at the canvas would fix this problem, though Sasuke kept trying. If only his eyes held more power to transform his photo-realistic renderings of fruit into something interesting, maybe then he wouldn’t be failing. He had the whole weekend ahead of him now to think about it. Maybe then come Monday he could stop glaring at the damn tubes of paint and actually make something worth living for again.  

     He didn’t even want to be here. Day in and day out he fights shit weather to walk to class from his run down apartment, in a city he doesn’t care for, in a country he can’t call home.  Sasuke’s full ride scholarship is the only thing binding him here, and that soon won’t matter if he can’t pull up his grades and make something brilliant. “Something to find your passion again.” Kakashi muttered, as he thrust a small orange book at him before shoving Sasuke out the studio door. “A book’s not going to change anything at this point.” Sasuke had groaned.  He had read hundreds and it just further solidified his bleak outlook on life. 

     The bell chimed behind him as Sasuke stepped into the orange lit cafe, the smell of ground coffee pushed Kakashi’s words out of his head.  “Ah Sasuke, hello!” Sakura, the same pink haired barista that had been there since he moved to campus cheerfully greeted him. “Your regular?”

     “Hn.” a small nod as Sasuke paid the overly friendly girl, ignoring her attentive gaze as his phone buzzed. Sasuke pushed his long straight bangs from his face to read a text from Suigetsu.   Of course, another party invite. Guess that’s what happens when you have your own house in college, and access to whatever drugs any one of their dumb classmates might want. At least his friend had enough foresight to plan it for after midterms next week. Barely registering his name being called out, Sasuke grabbed his blonde roast cappuccino off of the counter before settling in to his regular corner table and pulling out his sketchbook.

     The same drawing to warm up.  Always the same drawing. The curves of the tall front windows with their signs displaying advertisement for all types of different sweets and coffee for sale.  The low hanging lights in thin precise graphite from the straight high ceiling, a row of domes illuminating the customers hair. He spent time neatly shading in the shadows cast under a girls hand as it lifted a mug to her lips. The slope of the coffee counter, double rimmed with metal glinting from the filtered sunlight. Steam passing through the air from oversized equipment nearly toppling off of the countertop. He sketched to fill the whole page as he had dozens of times before, loosely placing sakura into the drawing as she smiled at a new customer and then called the order out to - 

     Sasuke’s pencil stopped moving across the page, his heart jumped to his throat.   _ “What the fuck”  _ He muttered under his breath. It was as if the world stopped spinning temporarily and Sasuke himself was tossed into the air at the sudden lack of movement. Taking a deep breath the pencil scratched the paper again, slowly, carefully. Taking a sip of coffee to steady himself, he returned to the drawing with more conviction.  He had to get this perfect, there was no other way. The form of the man working at the espresso machine flowed onto the page like water, the steam hitting his scarred cheeks flushing them delicately. His eyes downcast focused on his work, a calm expression of concentration with lips set in a slightly curved line. Before the drink was set on the counter Sasuke was out the door, sketchbook clutched tightly to his heart.  His footsteps sounding behind him as he jogged home,  _ enough. _

 

______

 

     Flinging his shoes off before hitting the carpet of his living room, Sasuke swept his arm across the drafting table scattering art supplies onto the floor before dropping the sketchbook down with a loud thump.  The table took up the majority of his small one bedroom apartment, cluttered with pens, pencils, canvas and paints. The living room was crammed full of creating materials only hosting a second hand futon and television taking up a small corner.  Sasuke ripped the page out and pressed it flat with both of his hands panting slightly from his run up the apartment stairs, nose cold from the journey home. Scooting the sketchbook aside, now free of the drawing, he reached under the drafting table grabbing a large pad of newsprint paper and his tin of charcoal. Methodically lining the charcoals in order of density and clipping the paper in place to the table he braced himself.

     It was as if his mind and body had been taken over, there was no thought - only flow as the charcoal smudged and lined over the paper.  His hand turned automatic as the features of the barista formed from the burnt willow Sasuke pressed into the fibers. The page from top to bottom was filled with a portrait of concentrated peace as the blonde man worked, sunlight filtering from the right fluttered through eyelashes to show shining highlights on downcast eyes.  Hours passed but felt like minutes, Sasuke still stood crouched over the drafting table, charcoal smudge across the bridge of his nose, his eyes unblinking. The apartment was completely silent expect the scratching of Sasuke’s movements, but an orchestra in his mind swelled as the delicate lines on the cheeks were placed. Cymbals crashed while white highlighted the halo of hair.  It was passion, shading the barista’s hand clenched around the cup giving the picture so much gravity while Sasuke’s feet lifted off the ground and he found his head in the clouds. Enveloped in fluffy white bellows of steam pouring around a perfectly shaped face, gently masking parts of the lips Sasuke so desperately wanted to see again. 

_      Wait, what was that thought?  _  Sasuke broke the trance over himself, jerking himself back into reality looking up and around the disheveled apartment.  How could he be wishing over lips he had seen once, it was ridiculous and completely opposite from his usual self. Rubbing his temples he looked back down at the page. His breath hitched.

     It was perfect.  Sasuke had never drawn anything this beautiful.  

     He grabbed the page and ripped it off the table letting it fall to the ground.   _ Nothing that beautiful should exist,  _ he thought before turning on his heel away from the picture.

  
  


______

 

     He couldn’t go back, it wasn’t fair.  Knowing that the source of his emotional outburst was lurking, waiting, at his ritual drawing spot just.. wasn’t fair at all.  Focusing in classes seemed to elude him, the clouds surrounding his head as he drew seemed to have seeped their way in through his ears and clouded Sasuke’s brain entirely. The days were turning into a blur as midterms crept up quickly. He found himself doodling the barista’s face in the corner of his Greek history note book, his creative literature notebook, his Japanese art history notebook;  focusing was not happening. This painting had to be made or it would just keep haunting him. He groaned to himself and got up as class was dismissed and tried to mentally steady himself to paint the rest of the night. It was going to be a long night, but Sasuke only had 2 days left until midterm critique for studio painting class. Kakashi had pulled him aside again criticizing him for not making any progress on his paintings. As humiliating as that was, he had to suck it up and go sketch the real deal again or the painting wouldn’t be right.  It honestly was a more terrifying concept than his teacher and peers judging his work on Friday.

     The bell chimed behind him in a familiar fashion as Sakura called a greeting to him. Sasuke pulled his headphones out of his ears and his scarf down away from his chin as he walked to the counter, just to look up and be met with a wide smile and a pair of sky blue eyes.  

_       Fuck.  _ Sasuke swallowed and tried to process the cheerful “Hi! What would you like today?” While his face may have been a cool mask of indifference, his mind replayed images of the drawing still on his living room floor like fireworks exploding. Time reeled forward again with Sasuke barely catching his breath, ”a tall blonde... cappuccino, please”

     A  blonde eyebrow twitched just enough to be noticed, “Uhh, right! Coming right up! That will be $2.50”.  The barista took Sasuke’s money from him.

     “No change, thanks.”  __ Sasuke nearly ran away from the counter to the pick up area. Sakura gave him a quizzical look as she handed him the drink.

     Sasuke plopped down at his usual corner table and pulled his Greek history book out of his backpack.  He might as well read the required chapter to calm his trembling hands before trying to draw anything.  Skimming the chapter and taking a few notes was like torture. Every time the blonde’s laugh carried over the noise of the busy cafe Sasuke’s heart jumped to his throat, his hackles raising in defense.  His mind felt fogged as he tried to memorize the names of southern greek cities, jotting them on notecards as that damn laugh punched through the air and right into his gut. Giving up he threw his history book back into the backpack and snatched his sketchbook flipping it open in his lap. A deep breath in, and out, before looking up at the counter.

     He was there, an elbow on the countertop leaning over, his scarred cheek resting in his hand. A small smile danced on his lips as those bright ocean eyes stared out the window.  Another deep breath in, the pencil touched paper. Forgoing his usual method of beginning with the environment, that face was first to grace the pressed fibers. The soft blue light from the clouded sky touched the tip of his nose and cast long shadows behind the figure leaned over the counter.  Sasuke’s subject was completely mesmerized, a rare moment of calm for a character seemingly burning with light. The sun burst through the clouds in rays and hit the blondes face, lighting him as if he was an ethereal being. In response he sighed a breath of gratitude and smiled deeper at the warmth filtering through the cafe’s windows. Scrambling for his pastels, Sasuke quickly marked the colors of the scene to refine later in paint, capturing the ray of light illuminating the face and hair right as it disappeared forever.

     Sasuke watched as the barista straightened up and left to help Sakura with the cleaning.  He snapped the sketchbook closed and slowly held it to his heart. The warmth of that light was still alive in this book and was now precious cargo not to leave his grip. Looking out the window Sasuke too stilled, mesmerized, as he watched the first snowfall of the year gracefully spiral to the ground.

 

_ _____ _

 

     Suigetsu always played the most annoying music at his parties.  Top 40s blasted through his home speaker system filling the cramped house with pulsing vibrations that rattled Sasuke’s nerves to no end.  His only relief? The drink in his hand. As if Suigetsu instinctively knew that Sasuke was about to mess with his music selection he threw an arm over his best friend’s shoulders, sloppily tipping their plastic red cups together in a mock cheers. The cheap concoction of alcohol spilled over the rim of Sasuke’s cup and on to his shoes, earning the white haired student a nasty glare.

     “Dumbass watch what you’re doing.” The threat had no real bite to it.

     “Ha, Sasuke come on, you always wear all black any way, what are could it possibly do.” Suigetsu waved his cup around spilling more liquid on some bystanders. His sharp teeth bared in a wide drunken grin.  “I on the other hand have perfect white shoes so of course I’m careful” Sasuke looked down to see the red liquid splashed on the _ perfect _ white shoes.  A small smirk lit Sasuke’s face at the sight.

     “See, there you go buddy! You have all the reason to smile and celebrate tonight, you nailed that painting! How did you even whip something that good out of your ass.  I swear once day you were drawing lame-ass fruit and then BAM a masterpiece of some mysterious golden boy.” He took a wide gulp of his drink. “Speaking of mister mysterious, I saw him on my bike ride home yesterday and invited him.” He looked around over the party goer’s heads, “Wonder if he’ll show up.”

     Whatever was left of the smirk on Sasuke’s face fell as he ducked out from under Suigetsu’s arm.  Ignoring protests he pushed his way to the back rooms to try to hide upstairs in Juugo’s room, face burning from embarrassment.  There was absolutely no way he could face that man again after making a painting of him like that, it was too close for comfort. A hand grabbed the back of his shirt and violently ripped him back.  Whipping around to see who was stopping him bright red hair filled his whole vision. 

     “Fuck you Karin, what do you want.” Sasuke scowled at the woman trapping him.

     “Honestly Honey, don’t talk to me like that.  Suigetsu wants you here! Stop trying to hide away.” Her sweetness was an act, like usual. She cornered him against the wall, face inches from his.  “Don’t leave yet, I’ll get you another drink, ok?”

     Sasuke pushed her away, “Fine, get me a drink. Just stay out of my face for once. Honestly I don’t know how Suigetsu falls for that sweet talk.” 

      “Fine, fine, I’ll keep my distance you moody bitch. Be back with your drink.” Sasuke barely heard her as she walked away from him waving her hand dismissively over her shoulder.  Slumping against the wall Sasuke took a breath in, trying to ignore the smell of sweat and smoke as his stoic mask slipped back into place. He had just a few moments to collect himself before Karin would be back.  Parties were not his forte, and would only attend Suigetsu’s with a promise of alcohol and a blunt at the end of the night. The mass amount of people crammed into the tiny two bedroom house felt like they would crush Sasuke at any moment, even if no one could tell.

     Karin shoved his drink under his nose with a huff leaning on one hip, Suigetsu trailing behind her like a love-sick puppy.  It was honestly disgusting, their relationship. Taking his drink from Karin then a drawn out sip, the front door to the house swung open and shut.

      “Oh look, your A+ grade just walked in.” Suigetsu gave a barking laugh before pushing Sasuke back to the entryway.  A final shoving of hands and Sasuke came toppling forward directly in to a screaming girl with bubble gum hair.

     “Oh my god, Sakura are you okay?” A vaguely familiar voice called out over the party. A set of hands reached down to lift Sasuke off the ground and off of the sputtering girl.

     “Jesus Christ Suigetsu, really?” Sasuke picked up his spilled drink and looked up at the blonde haired man brushing a blushing Sakura off and helping her to her feet, all while fighting off laughter.

     “Oh man what an entrance!” The man clutched his sides wheezing, stepping away from Sakura and sticking his hand out to Sasuke. “What’s your name cannonball?”

     Not appreciating the new nickname, “Hn, Sasuke.” He took the extended hand briefly.

     “Nice! I’m Naruto, can I get you a drink? Looks like you spilled yours - Oh! Sakura do you want something?” Sakura still flustered, her face a shade deeper than her hair nodded slowly, her eyes not leaving Sasuke. Naruto barreled towards the kitchen, the crowd jumping out of his way.  Sakura followed him timidly, her gaze lingering over Sasuke as she turned away.

     Sasuke whipped around to stare down his friends, who were doubled over with laughter pointing at him. “You should have seen your face when you both fell! Oh my god, classic.” Whipping away from his friends Sasuke found an open couch to crash on, his glare enough to keep anyone else from joining him.

     “Here!” For the second time that night a drink was pushed under his nose.  This time though golden hair and a wide smile met his scowl before taking the cup carefully.  Naruto plopped down on the couch next to Sasuke, close too, he noticed their thighs lightly brushing. Sakura joined them on Naruto’s opposite side.  Naruto immediately began chatting about the music choice of the night engaging Sakura in casual conversation arms flailing as he spoke. Sasuke’s phone buzzed in his pocket;  a text from Suigetsu - a thumbs up and a wink emoji. He groaned as put his phone away tuning into the conversation. “I mean couldn’t they put on something at least decent? Give me some good classic rock, then we could really party! This top 40 shit has got to go.” Sakura had her hand on Naruto’s shoulder pressing him down preventing him from getting up to change the music. “Naruto, don’t be rude.”

     “No, I agree. I tried to change it earlier but Suigetsu practically jammed me into a headlock.  He really has the worst taste imaginable.” Sasuke said as he took another sip of his drink.

     Naruto smiled, “Yeah it really is like some kind of Marxist utopia up in here.”

     “Uh, what?” Sasuke could hear Sakura groaning over his question.

     “They’ve got no class.”

     Sasuke almost spit out his drink, his eyes wide.

     “UGH, Naruto! You can’t go  _ one _ night without your terrible jokes!?” Sakura whined from the other end of the couch. 

     Naruto started fishing in his pockets, “Babe, you know I can’t.” turning to Sasuke “She especially can’t stand my coffee puns at work, I’d share some now but that would be spilling the beans.” He earned another groan from Sakura.

     “This is my best friend’s house you know, I’d be careful insulting his majesty’s tastes so loudly” Sasuke retorted with a soft chuckle. A lighter clicked and sparked in front of Naruto. “Shit sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it.” Naruto looked at Sasuke with wide eyes, a thin joint hanging from his lip.  _ Fuck, I could be hanging off that lip. Wait, no. _

     “Dude, its okay. I couldn’t care less.” Eyes snapping up from his lips to those wide eyes. “You can always make it up to me.”

     A wide smile cracked Naruto’s expression, “Good thing I brought the second best apology man can give, a joint!” Dangling it in front of Sasuke’s face before lighting it successfully.

     “Yeah, what’s the first?”

     “Well, actually that’s a tie.” Naruto exhaled “Coffee.” Another inhale.

     “And blowjobs.” An exhale right in Sasuke’s face before sticking the joint right in between Sasuke’s open lips.“Here princess, enjoy.”

     Blinking slowly, Sasuke took a deep hit off the joint before looking down then away.  His brain felt like it was short circuiting. No one  _ ever  _ that he had met before took him off guard like this.   Naruto was so, straightforward. Honest. There was nothing hidden there as Naruto went back to talking about his love for classic rock.  Sasuke sat there for a while just watching the way Naruto sat straight up while talking, waving his hands to punctuate the words he expressed.  Passing the joint to Sakura, Sasuke didn’t take his eyes off of the stunning man in front of him.

     Naruto bolts up, saying he’s getting another drink, and offered to get Sasuke one.  He was pretty buzzed at this point between the weed and the drinks, but couldn’t say no to those clear blue eyes. His eyes never left Naruto as the man practically ran to the kitchen.

     “How does any one have that much energy.” He muttered to himself. Scooting close to Sasuke, Sakura responded “I don’t know, it’s like that at work too. It’s pretty incredible.”  She situated herself with an arm around the back of the couch behind Sasuke. “So you go to the school here right? I see you drawing all the time at the cafe. What’s your major?”

      “Hn, painting.” Sasuke responded quickly his eyes scanning the crowd, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

     “Oh, wow! I bet you’re really talented, I would love to see your work some time!”  Same as always, the same response everyone gives. Of course he is talented he’s worked too hard to not be.  But it is past Sasuke why anyone thinks it’s incredible to slave over the same canvas for weeks.

     “So, you from around here?” The questions interrupting Sasuke’s thoughts.

     “Uh, no. I came here from Japan four years ago, I lived outside of Tokyo after high school.”

     “WHAT! I’ve only been to Mexico before that’s crazy!!” A much louder voice and bigger body pressed their way back between Sasuke and Sakura, much to Sasuke’s relief.  Naruto handed him another drink as Sakura pouted over his shoulder.

     “So, what!? You speak Japanese then?” the ever eager Naruto inquired.

     “Well, yeah… I grew up there, dobe.”

     “Dobe? What the fuck did you just call me?” his eyes narrowed.

     “It means useless, or dead last. Get used to it.” A smirk played Sasuke’s lips before he took a sip of his drink.

     A sharp laugh left Naruto’s lips before loudly begging Sasuke to teach him to swear words in Japanese. Tugging at Sasuke’s sleeve like a child he pouted until Sasuke relented and taught him a list of insults.

     “Teme, huh!? That’s you then if I have to be dobe.” Laughing through the sentence, Sasuke couldn’t help but chuckle at his enthusiasm. “I bet I could teach you some good swear words in English, I’m pretty creative you know!”

     Sakura butted in, “Hey Naruto. Sasuke says he’s a painter, cool right?

     “Oh yeah?  Wanna paint this sweet bod sometime?”

     Sasuke choked on his drink for the third time that night. His heart felt like it jumped in to his throat and made a home there.

     “Sure, if you pay me.”

     Naruto sighed, “Ah, fuck.  I’m sorry Sasuke I’m dirt poor. I’m sure I could find another way to pay you, though…” Giving Sasuke a big, cheesy wink before getting smacked in the back of the head by a sputtering Sakura.

     Sasuke could feel the blush creeping up in to this cheeks and wished he could blame the alcohol. “Ah, it’s… It’s getting late. I’m going to find Suigetsu and Karin. Thanks for the drinks Naruto, Sakura.” A quick nod and he stood and rushed to find his friends, shaking his head to clear the mental image of Naruto’s dejected face when he announced his departure.

     Disengaging himself from one of Karin’s many hugs and ignoring yet another request from a drunk Suigetsu to join their bedroom activities for the evening, Sasuke walked outside.

     “Wait! Sasuke! oof -  fuck slow down!”

     Sasuke turned around to see a stumbling Naruto trying to catch up to him.

     “What do you want dobe.”

     “Here, take this,” Naruto thrust out his hand while scratching the back of his head with his other, “It’s, uh, my number. In case you ever crave bad jokes or something, you know?”

_      Bad jokes, right. That’s what I’ll crave. _

     “Also, I’m sorry for what I said earlier about the payment, I’m sure your art is worth more than that.  I was just playing around. It was great meeting you though, I’ll see you later!” He shoved a slip of paper against Sasuke’s chest then quickly ran back inside, not daring to look over his shoulder. The music momentarily swelled as the door opened, then shut, leaving Sasuke standing in the quiet snow. Leaving him clutching a piece of paper with very important phone number on it.

  
  



	2. Snow

     The last few weeks flew by Sasuke as if he was stuck in an oil and turpentine dream.  Working diligently on his fall semester collection the five tall paintings loomed over him in his shabby apartment.  Between the encounter at Suigetsu’s and the paper burning a hole through his jacket pocket he was driven into a passionate madness, only soothed with a careful application of varnish to finish each painting. Each masterpiece focused on individual pieces of a man drentched in sunlight.  The midterm piece was the only painting that showed him in his environment, the rest becoming increasingly more intimate. A face masked in shadow, slightly turned away from the viewer shielding the gaze of the subject from the patron. A hand rubbing neck, thumb pressed firmly into the flesh cropped to show the blonde hair raising in goosebumps on the forearm as the subject massaged himself after a long work day. A pair of hands clenching a nondescript chipped mug, steam rising and masking the soft blue cotton of a shirt.  The veins of the hands perfectly marked in subtle blue against the tanned flesh.

     The center painting hosted the visage again, but facing the viewer this time, half hidden by a hand reaching up to brush hair off the forehead. A sliver of bright aqua eye peered out from between the fingers,  the gaze directly catching the spectator as if challenging them. 

     It gave Kakashi chills.  Stunned at the intensity of every pose, the cropping, the lighting, and the technical finesse that Sasuke was known for had finally found a place in tandem with inspiration.  Earlier, Sasuke had Juugo help him move the large canvases with his pick-up truck, and now was waiting for Kakashi to say something -  _ anything _ , other than just standing there with his mouth agape.

     “So, who is he?” the silence was broken.

      “No one. I made him up.” Sasuke’s eyes looked down and away from Kakashi, hands shoved in his pockets.

     “Mah, if you say so. Maybe that book did help you out after all.” A coy smile graced the silver haired man’s tilted face.

     “Whatever you say, am I good to go then?” Sasuke shuffled his feet impatiently.

      “Yeah, yeah, you’re good in more than one way.  Now go study for your other classes.” He waved a hand dismissively but Sasuke was already halfway out the door.

      Out the door and halfway to the cafe, he hoped to get some final sketches of Naruto in before having to shift his attention to his history courses. The familiar streets guided him thoughtlessly. He spent his walk listening to the crunch of snow under his feet feeling the air growing thinner each day as the first week of December passed by. A regular greeting from Sakura fell deaf on his ears as he ordered his coffee from her, a quick glance around showed the absence of her coworker.

      “Is Naruto ok? It’s not like him to miss work.”

      “Huh, I wasn’t aware you paid so much attention to that idiot’s work schedule. But, yeah, he’s fine.  Just out with a cold or something, now I have to work double shifts today.” Sakura said with an exasperated groan. 

      He took his drink off the counter when it was complete, not bothering to muster a response to Sakura. Sitting down at his usual table, he sipped his coffee as that damn piece of paper screamed at him. He gently rubbed his finger along the edge of it as he had done so many times in the last few weeks and then, gave up. He pulled out his phone and punched the number in to add new contact.

_       Slacking off today, are we?  _ Sasuke took a sip of his coffee, trying to keep his hands from shaking.  He needed something to do other than wondering if Naruto would text back or not; this is exactly why he didn’t do this earlier.  Taking out his Japanese art history book and notebook he began to write for the third time that week all the names and titles of pieces from the last chapter.

_Who is this?! u rude motherfucker! Im sick._ Sasuke laughed to himself, imagining perfectly Naruto’s scowl at being accused of skipping work. _Dobe, it’s Sasuke. You need me to bring you a stuffed rabbit and soup, come tuck you in? you crybaby_

      Before Sasuke could wipe the smile off his face and get back to work, an address appeared lighting up his phone screen.  _ plz nurse heal me im dying. _

      Studying for finals was very difficult.

 

______

 

_       Check your doorstep.  _ Sasuke was already home before texting Naruto later that evening. He had gotten almost everything he needed for his Japanese art history exam memorized, and was feeling pretty secure in his grade.  Knowing that all the paintings were hung in the school gallery ready to be shown next weekend, he breathed easy. Relaxed for the first time in weeks, he scrubbed his dishes. His apartment was clean and all traces of this semester’s obsession were tucked away with the rest of his work from the semester.  Buried deep in his room, locked away safe from prying hands. 

_       HOLY FUCK SASUKE?! _ Speaking of said obsessions.

_       did u make this? _

_       what even is this?! _

_       where are u???? :0 _

_       u sneaky bastard leaving food and ditching _

_       (im not complaining its so good T.T) _

      Sasuke couldn’t help the smile on his face as he dried his hands to respond.  _ Didn’t want to get sick, dumbass, i got finals to get through. And yes i made it, did the rice give it away? that’s racist u know. _

_       shut up, how r u so talented omg im crying _

      Putting his phone away into his back pocket, Sasuke sat down at his drafting table fidgeting with a pen before opening his creative literature reading.  There were not many days left of classes thankfully, then just one more semester before he can get out of this hell hole of a city. The thought had a bittersweet edge to it for once, taking Sasuke by surprise.

_       can i come study with u tomorrow - i promise im not contagious ;) _

      Putting the book momentarily down Sasuke sent back a ‘ _ sure’ _ and his address. Staring out the window at the lightly falling snow he shook his head to get back to work.  He would worry about how all that would go tomorrow. Right now he needed to focus, a task that proved more and more difficult as the evening dragged on.

 

_ ______ _

 

      Two giant take out bags adorned the arms of a smiling man with a chapped nose. “You gonna let me in Sasuke?” His smile grew wider as Sasuke stepped out of his way to let him inside. “Take off your shoes though.” 

      “Oh! okay, hold these” Naruto shoved the bags at Sasuke before slipping off his shoes and looking around the apartment. “Wow, got enough art supplies?” Turning back to Sasuke with a playful wink.

_       “ _ Hn, no.” Sasuke set the food bags on the floor in the center of the living room. “Sorry there’s no room in here for a table, hope you don’t mind.” Naruto was already dipping down on to the floor still smiling, his eyes wide taking in all the paintings hanging on the walls. 

      “Did you do all of these? They are incredible. I cant even draw a stick figure!” Naruto chuckled as Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Yes you can, you just don’t want to take the time to learn how, Naruto.” 

      “Jeez ok, take a compliment, moody.”

      “Don’t put yourself down to compliment someone.”

      They stared at each other, air tense before Sasuke sat on the ground and smirked at Naruto.  He was obviously stunned, taken aback. From how Naruto acted, he couldn’t be used to people verbally challenging him.

      “What’d you bring me for my tutoring fees, hm?” Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the bags of take out.

      “Myself, obviously.” Naruto wiggled his eyebrows at Sasuke, “and the greatest food in the world, ramen!” grabbing the take out containers out of the bags and handing one to Sasuke. “I hope you like pork, it’s the best kind they have.”

      They ate in silence, enjoying the warm broth. Sasuke mixed a few drinks for them both, cheap vodka and juice, before pulling out several books to study.  Naruto had asked for help with his history course, thankfully a class Sasuke had taken the year before. It was a required course for Juniors no matter what the major chosen. Naruto surprised Sasuke with his level of concentration and determination at learning the last bits of the information needed for his exam the upcoming week. He listened well to Sasuke when he gave him tricks to help memorize things. A few drinks later, and many hours of flashcards, Naruto was feeling prepared for his final exam and went to excuse himself to walk home. After helping clean up the empty food containers, he swung open the front door-

      To a wall of white snow, waist deep. “What the…” Naruto poked the wall of snow and stepped back shaking the wet cold off of his hand. “You got an extra coat I can borrow?” Naruto threw a weak smile over his shoulder at Sasuke.

      Sasuke closed the front door, “No. It’s still coming down hard, you shouldn’t risk walking in this shit.” He disappeared into his room only to reappear moments later with blankets stacked in his arms. “You’re staying here.” He huffed as he dumped the mountain of blankets on top of Naruto. Naruto toppled over under the weight to the ground right as the power flipped off.

      “Great, better bundle up. It’s gonna get cold.”  Both men were used to the long winters and constant power outages from the snow piling on the electrical wires.  Lighting some candles Sasuke slid his sketchbook off the drafting table and sunk back down on to the ground. Naruto busied himself making a cocoon of blankets, only his face peeking out from the nest. “Hand me my drink.” A hand reached up out of the blankets, barely sticking out of a hole next to Naruto’s face. Sasuke looked up from his sketchbook and let out a loud genuine laugh at the sight of Naruto’s arm sticking awkwardly out of the blankets. “Oi, don’t laugh I’m just caught a little short handed right now, ok.”

      “Ugh, fuck you and your shit jokes.” Another laugh, causing Naruto’s cheeks to redden as the cup was placed in his hand. Sasuke went back to sketching, a small smile still lingering on his lips.

      Finishing his drink, Naruto scooted closer trying to look at what Sasuke was working on, only to have the book slammed shut in his face. “No, peeking.”

      “Aw, come on Sasuke, you can’t work on stuff right in front of me and not have me peek, that’s not fair.”

      Sasuke shook his head, “I sketch you all the time and you don’t try to peek.” Realizing what he just admitted, Sasuke flushed and stood up going in to his room again.

      “Wait, you mean at work?? Also not fair, I’m busy then!” Naruto called after him pouting from within his surrounding of blankets. A sketchbook was shoved in his face moments later. Looking up, Sasuke was holding it out looking away from Naruto.

      “Here.” He waved the book around. “You can look at this one.”

      Disengaging himself from the blankets, Naruto took the sketchbook gently and placed it in his lap.  Flipping it open he turned the cover page, Japanese writing he could not read neatly lined the first page. Dismissing it for the book’s other contents, he started exploring the pages.

      Page, after page, beautiful drawings graced the fibers. Mostly studies of landscapes, mountains and buildings, often with people in the scene walking about or eating. Several pages mixed throughout had multiple sketches of different fruit, animals, and people.  Naruto’s eyes widened when he arrived at several pages of human studies and portraits, where Sasuke’s talents really shone through. 

      “That's my old sketchbook from high school.”

      “High school?? That's ridiculous, how could any high school kid draw like this?” Sasuke shrugged a response as Naruto kept flipping through the many pages.

       Stopping on a portrait, “Who is this? He looks like you.”

       Sasuke paused for a moment. “Ah, that’s Itachi. My brother.”

      “Wow! That's so cool you have a brother, I didn’t know.” Naruto exclaimed.

      Sasuke turned away, “It’s really not that great. We don’t really speak anymore.”

      “Why not? If I had a brother I would talk to him every day.” Naruto’s prodding eyes were locked on Sasuke. 

      “It’s not that simple.” Sasuke took a long drink before getting up and filling both of their cups. Naruto turned another page. “So who’s this then?”

      Sitting back down, “That would be my father. The whole reason it’s not simple.”

      Naruto paused before flipping the page again, more landscapes. Something about the portraits seemed so sad, but he couldn’t place his finger on it. When he had flipped through the whole book he handed it back to Sasuke before sipping on his drink.

      “Hey Sasuke, why are you here?”

      “Cause I’m helping you study, moron.”

      “No teme, I mean, why aren’t you in Japan, with your family?”

      Naruto’s bluntness made Sasuke shiver, he wished he could blame the cold. He sat there for what felt like hours, trying to piece together what he could say, give some kind of reason that would be an absolute answer to bring no more questions to the table.  Staring at his hands, he watched them as they clenched into fists.

      “Because I wasn’t welcome at home anymore.” He drew a breath, Naruto watched him patiently.  “My father wanted me to take over his company, run it with my brother. I wanted to paint, so I had to leave.”

      “If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s ok. I’m sorry for asking.” Naruto’s hand slipped on top of Sasuke’s like an electric shock forcing him to uncurl the fist. Sasuke’s breath caught in his throat before looking up at Naruto. “It’s okay, just a heavy topic. I’d rather not get in to it.” Naruto pulled his hand away to scratch at his face, Sasuke’s hand immediately missing the warmth that had just enveloped it. “Drawing cheers you up right? I got an idea.”

       Naruto pushed himself up on to his knees and practically ripped his shirt off before laying down on the nest of blankets, sticking a mock sexy pose. “I won't make a ‘draw me like one of your french girls’ joke because that’s over used, I have taste you know.” Naruto paused, “But, you should draw me like one of your french girls.” Naruto laughed at his own joke.

       Sasuke was never more grateful for a power outage as he was that evening. The candle light was a perfect mask for the red blush that crept up his cheeks. Turning away and grabbing his newsprint pad and charcoal, he set to work laying out the foundation for the drawing.

_        Fuck, he shouldn’t look this good.  _ Fighting to keep composed, Sasuke quickly sketched Naruto’s form. The light bounced off every curve of well defined muscle on Naruto’s torso, making the shading easy to spot and replicate. Minutes passed and the only sound was the scratching of burnt bark on paper, and eventually Naruto’s soft snores.  Taking advantage of the rare opportunity, Sasuke made a series of drawings before finally retreating to his own room, but not before choosing his favorite one - a close up of Naruto’s face asleep, his lips slightly parted, his hair sticking up from his forehead. Ripping it out from the pad of newsprint he left it by the sleeping blonde. Signed,   

_      Here this one you can peek at - Sasuke. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me about how much you love Naruto and check out my smutty drawings on Twitter - @kitsuneitsuki


	3. Gallery

     Walking out into the living room rubbing his eyes, Sasuke took in his apartment.  The old sketch book was placed neatly on his drafting table, blankets folded on the futon and cup washed next to the sink.  All of which had less of an impact than the missing drawing. The snow had melted considerably under the late morning sunshine, a nice change from the weeks of clouds that had been covering the cold midwestern sky.  Sasuke wasn’t sure if he intended on Naruto taking the drawing of himself, but found he surprisingly wasn’t upset by the fact.

     Settling in at the drafting table, Sasuke checked his phone to find a short thank you message paired with a  _ ;) _  from Naruto.  A slight smile graced his lips as he put the phone aside and started studying for his final few exams coming up that week. A text from Juugo lit up his phone inviting Sasuke to the bar with Karin and Suigetsu after the gallery event on Friday.  Shooting back a short  _ sure _ , he focused in on studying.

     The week flew by. Sasuke didn’t hear anything more from Naruto, and was too busy with exams to take any breaks at the cafe. He would be happy to have his exams finished so he could pick up his sketchbook again.  Feeling pretty confident about the results of his finals, Friday evening arrived and the gallery was calm and empty.

     The paintings loomed over Sasuke in the quiet room, taunting him.  His blood pressure kept rising, fingers twitching at the urge to tear the images off the walls and run away with them.  It was risky he knew, to paint someone he now was interacting with and then display the images so boldly where anyone could see.  Kakashi entered the gallery his footsteps bouncing off the walls,  _ too late to back out now _ .  Taking a seat on the bench situated in front of his paintings, Sasuke tried to appear cool and collected while people slowly began to filter in to the space.

     Students, teachers, and patrons kept Sasuke occupied asking about his piece, and he did his best to network and respond formally with confidence.  Kakashi pulled him aside to meet several stuffy old men in suits so they could ask him questions, much to Sasuke’s distaste. He played along smoothly, selling himself and trying to sell his works as he must.  If Kakashi’s expressions meant anything, it was that Sasuke was doing well playing his part.

     Several people surrounded Suigetsu’s work as well, his large color field studies towering higher, taller than anyone else's art. It was no surprise that his works were large and impressive. They perfectly matched the expressive loud nature of his best friend.  The subtle color changes were dazzling when viewed under the gallery lighting, giving the viewer the feeling of the air vibrating around them when they stood close to the paint. Suigetsu was not around his paintings but instead was creeping up behind Sasuke, startling him.

     “Come on dude, let’s ditch these stuffy assholes, its unbearable watching Kakashi drag you around like a trophy wife.” He whispered into Sasuke’s ear before slipping an arm around Sasuke’s waist and dragging him out of the gallery, not unnoticed by Kakashi’s ever watching eyes.

     They made their way to the bar through melting snow to meet Karin and Juugo, complaining about the rich patrons at the gallery and lamenting over how they would have to deal with people like them the rest of their careers. The bar was close to campus and soon they found themselves on the outside patio huddled around a wooden table under a heater.

     Taking a shot together, a cheers to the end of semester, Sasuke felt the tension from the evening rolling off of his shoulders.  It was good to have friends for once who cared enough about him to invite him out to celebrate. They all worked so hard to get here the last few years and now they only had one semester left.

     Juugo bought them all another round while Sasuke settled back into his chair.  Content taking a moment to sit back and relax after such an intense week, he watched his friends joke and laugh over the loud bar music with a cozy smile on his face.  Karin was loudly complaining about the doctor she was training under, saying he wasn’t handsome at all. “What’s the point in being that rich if you’re not also attractive, isn’t that why there’s plastic surgery?” She screamed over Suigetsu as he tried to calm her down saying at least he was qualified to teach her.  Juugo slapped her on the back with a loud guffaw expressing how he wished his teachers were at least qualified, “They don’t know a good story from a bad one if it smacked them right in the face!” He added. The creative literature department at their school was horribly undersized and had very little funding Juugo went on to say before announcing that after next semester he would be pursuing his Masters degree at a larger university on the west coast.  Suigetsu was the one to buy the round of drinks this time to cheer for him on for being accepted to such a prestigious school. All those nights Juugo had cooped himself up in his room writing his novel instead of joining parties just downstairs had finally paid off. A loud  _ clink _ as the glasses clicked together. A rare silence fell over the group as they basked in each other’s successes. A tap on his shoulder startled Sasuke out of his celebration.

     Sasuke watched Suigetsu’s eyes widen before turning to see who was behind him.  Met with anxious blue eyes and a soft “We need to talk.” Naruto turned away from Sasuke and walked back out the bar’s door.

     The group let out a collective  _ ooohhhhhh _ mocking Sasuke like he had just been called to the principal’s office. He stood to follow Naruto out the door,  flipping them off over his head. The cold winter air hit his cheeks.

     “Come on.” Naruto’s voice was gruff as he grabbed Sasuke’s sleeve and dragged him into the alley next to the bar’s entrance. Sasuke let out a small questioning “Wha-?” before being slammed into the brick wall behind him.

     “Naruto! What the fuck” Fists clenched around Sasuke’s jacket pressing him in to the cold brick, lifting him slightly.

     “Is this some kind of sick joke, Sasuke?” Naruto’s eyes were angry, his cheeks flushed. He pressed Sasuke harder with his fists.

     “What are you talking about, how did you even find me?” Sasuke’s anger was rising to match Narutos, who did he think he was treating him like this?

     “I texted Suigetsu, don’t change the subject bastard.”  _ I’ll kill Suigetsu later. _

     “Fine dobe, what even is the subject then?” Sasuke’s voice as cold as the air around them.

     “I….. I went to the gallery, what was that Sasuke? Why didn’t you tell me?” Naruto’s eyes downcast, his grip on Sasuke loosening slightly.

     “Nothing.  There was nothing to tell.”

     Everything stilled between them. “You’re lying. What do those paintings mean?” Naruto shifted slightly forward his eyes locking with Sasuke’s. His breath came in short puffs whisking through the December chill. Silence enveloped the two men.

     “Sasuke, tell me what the paintings mean.” Hope mixed in with his anger.

     “Naruto, I…” He trailed off, the grip around his collar releasing after a moment. Sasuke shot his hands upwards to catch Naruto’s as they tried to leave his chest, holding them against Sasuke’s heart.  “…You…” looking down at their touching hands they held their breath.

     It felt like eternity passed as Sasuke tried to find the right words to tell Naruto, he should have seen this coming and prepared himself but the chances of Naruto seeing his work seemed so low. How could he tell Naruto about what he was feeling? It was too intense for even himself to handle without subjecting someone else to it.  How Naruto was his passion, his inspiration, how he saved not only his career but possibly himself when they had barely even interacted. It was too much to form into words so easily as Naruto was demanding. There had to be something he could say. He gathered his thoughts and started to speak, looking up directly to meet Naruto’s eyes.

     The look returned was enough to steal all words from his mouth. A turbulent mix of emotions; anger, admiration, hurt, and lust swam in a sea of blue electricity. Sasuke lost his own battle and surged forward, pressing Naruto’s lips against his own.

     Relief flooded Sasuke, with his lips on Naruto’s warm ones. Naruto’s hands fisted harder than before into Sasuke’s jacket as he deepened the kiss drawing Sasuke up towards him. Both men groaned into the heat, their lips parting momentarily relishing in the hot, damp air shared between them. Sasuke snaked his hands up to grasp Naruto’s face, fingers lightly brushing the scars adorning his cheeks.

     Naruto pulled away slowly, panting for air, his eyelashes fluttering as he looked at Sasuke. “I’m what, Sasuke?” His grip finally leaving Sasuke’s chest as cool hands slid from Naruto’s face.

     “I.. I don’t know.”

     A momentary flash of hurt passed over Naruto’s expression as he turned on his heel and walked away.

 

______

 

     Sasuke woke up late morning with a headache from hell, trying to piece together what happened the previous night.  He went to sit up on the soft bed, but was captured by a heavy arm over his chest.  _  Ugh _ the pressure was not helping his nausea.  With a deep sigh to steady his stomach he looked to the right, where Suigetsu was curled up, an arm thrown around Sasuke’s chest. Karin was sprawled out on Sasuke’s left, a leg pinning Sasuke’s lower half on to the bed. Their clothing was thrown around the room, much to Sasuke’s dismay.  Disengaging himself from the couple on the bed, Sasuke stumbled about dressing himself before heading to the kitchen, rubbing his temples.

     “Long night?” A chuckle from Juugo carried through the kitchen as he spooned another mouthful of cereal.

     “Juugo, what the fuck happened.” Sasuke said through a groan.

     An understanding smile from Juugo, “What’s the first thing you remember?”.

     Sasuke stilled for a moment before collapsing in the chair opposite of his friend. Grumbling to himself he tried to remember pieces of the night, starting from - 

     Being left in the melting snow, alone, not understanding where the hell he went wrong.

     “I remember coming back inside, Suigetsu bugging the hell out of me and then not a lot after, bits and pieces.  I remember coming back here and…” Sasuke trailed off. “Fuck, I really told them it was ok didn’t I.”

     “To be fair, you were all equally trashed.” Juugo’s soft smile never left his face as he ate his breakfast. “When you came back inside the bar it looked like you’d seen a ghost.  I’ve never seen you so pale.” Juugo stood and grabbed a bowl and poured some cereal for Sasuke, handing him a spoon. “So, if it wasn’t a ghost, what did you see.”

     Sasuke fidgeted with his cereal, glaring at the milk bubbles around each flake. “…I kissed Naruto.” He dropped the spoon into the bowl.

     “Eat Sasuke, your stomach will thank you.” Juugo handed him a glass of water. “Drink too.  That’s the blonde in your paintings right? Good job buddy, I’m proud of ya.” 

     Sasuke groaned and rested his head on the table. “He rejected me.”

     “Yeesh.  That’s surprising.  He was literally hunting you down from what Suigetsu was saying.  Think maybe he’s straight?”

     “No, that’s not it.” Sasuke mumbled into the table. “I think my paintings freaked him out.  He probably thinks I’m a freaky stalker.”

     Juugo laughed, “And you’re not?” Quieting his chuckles, “No, no I’m sorry. I know you’re not. Did you explain why you made those paintings, I mean it should be obvious that you love him.”

     Sasuke sat up sputtering, “I do not.”

     “Okay, okay! Sorry.” Juugo doubled over laughing again. “You totally do, but that’s beside the point.  So, did you tell him?”

     “No.”

     “Well, shit Sasuke, that’s why he walked away from you.  He’s probably got the wrong idea, you seriously need to learn to communicate better, bro.”

     “Yeah, yeah, whatever Juugo. Thanks for listening.” Sasuke finished his cereal. “Can I text you later to help me pick up the paintings?”

     Juugo nodded as Sasuke gathered his coat and shoes to leave. “Be sure to slap Suigetsu for me, ok?” He yelled behind him as he closed the door shutting out the sounds of Juugo’s laughter.

 

_____

  
  


     Kakashi was sitting on the bench in front of Sasuke’s paintings when he arrived. A new orange book rested in his hand, not caring to look up at Sasuke as he took a seat next to him. After a few moments they looked up at the paintings together. The art felt lonely in the gallery, stretched fantasy juxtaposed to Sasuke’s cold reality. He wasn’t sure if he should call Juugo to carefully pull the paintings down to transfer to the storage unit, or set the building on fire with himself inside.

    “You lied to me.” Kakashi licked his thumb and turned a page, not bothering to look at Sasuke as he addressed him.  “He was here, you know.” He gestured vaguely to the painting. “Pretty curious about these paintings, obviously. Poor kid looked like he was going to cry.”

     Sasuke put his head in his hands and sighed, he was far too hungover to deal with chastising from his teacher.  “Look Sasuke, whatever you got going on with this person needs to be addressed. Your art has never been more inspired, so vibrant, so personal.  You’ll lose that if you don’t figure your shit out.” He turned another page.

     Without removing his head from his hands, “You wouldn’t understand, it’s not that simple.”

     “Yes it is.” Kakashi snapped his book shut. “It’s called communicating.  I’m sure you know nothing about it, but maybe it’s time to learn, eh?” With that he stood and strode quickly out of the room “Make sure to get those out of here before the end of the week.” He called behind him, leaving Sasuke looking at Kakashi’s back then to the paintings. Maybe he wouldn’t burn the building down.  He pulled out his phone to text Juugo to help him bring the paintings to the storage unit, but found a black screen instead. Dead.  _ How long?  _ Sasuke wondered. Resigning himself to fate he tucked the phone away and left those damn paintings for another day.

     Stepping outside, Sasuke was already sick of the winter. The temperature was dropping daily and the wind bit through his coat.  He found himself walking up to his apartment building shrugging his clothes closer to him. Pulling his scarf around his neck a bit tighter he climbed the stairs to the door, almost tripping over a bundled figure resting at the top of the stairs.

     “Ah, fuck sorry.” Sasuke tried to step around the figure, only to have a hand shoot out and grab his ankle. 

     “Sasuke, please wait.” A small voice spoke to him. 

     Naruto was looking up at him, shivering from the cold.  “We need to talk, please.”

     Suddenly having a lot of trouble breathing he mumbled, “Hn, come inside.” And unlocked the door. “Take your shoes off and sit down.” Sasuke left to his bedroom and returned with a blanket to wrap around Naruto before heading to the kitchen to make tea, his heart thudding wildly.  He silently worked while Naruto tried warming his hands under the blanket, his lips looked slightly blue, his nose bright red. “How long were you out there?” He said while pulling a chipped mug out from the old cabinet. 

     “I don’t know, I just got worried when after my morning shift you still hadn’t responded to me.  I tried calling last night and today and couldn’t get through… Sorry you probably think that’s stupid I just, just… I’m sorry.” Sasuke handed the mug of tea to Naruto and sank down on the floor in front of Naruto.

     “Wait, why the fuck are you sorry?” Sasuke took a sip from his own mug held between both of his hands as he watched the shivers begin to ease out of Naruto.

     “‘Cause I just left you there last night. I panicked, and just ran away. I’m sorry.” His eyes stayed fixed on the floor. “I don’t know, I’m not used to people even looking at me Sasuke, I don’t know what to make of any of this, you weren’t responding to me and then last night when you said it’s nothing-“

     “It’s not nothing.” Sasuke interrupted, an intense expression on his face. “Naruto, it’s not nothing.” He looked away from Naruto, lips set into a frown.

     “Then what is it? Tell me what it means, please. I can wait this time to hear you out, I won’t run away.” Looking down at his lap, Naruto grasped his mug tighter.

     They both sat still looking into their tea, Sasuke was unsure how to go about telling Naruto anything. He had been stuck in a loop all day, the advice from his friend then teacher played through his head endlessly.  How the hell was he supposed to communicate such a vast range of complicated emotions when he himself didn’t understand any of them. Sasuke took a deep breath in, catching a waft of coffee beans and the air outside still clinging to Naruto’s clothing, making his throat tighten. After a minute of long silence, Sasuke stood, putting his mug down on the drafting table. “Come with me.” he muttered before turning and heading towards his room.

     “Sit on the bed, it’s fine. I just need to show you something.” Naruto sat carefully on the very edge of the bed, anxiously gripping the mug Sasuke had given him.  Sasuke crouched down to the floor and slid a long flat box out from under the bed. The box was simple, large, and black, a peculiar red and white fan design engraved on the top. A small clasp and lock held the box firmly shut.

     “Naruto,” Sasuke looked up to meet the blonde’s eyes for the first time in what felt like ages. “This box is full of my most important things.  Most of which are drawings I’ve done that meant something very important to me.” Taking a long breath, he continued. “I want you to look through everything in here.” he ran a hand along the top of the box before taking a long necklace hidden under his shirt with a small key dangling at the end out to meet the lock. Turning the key, he swung the box open.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet that box is full of dildos


	4. Box

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter and this one are a bit shorter so I couldn't help but to update just a little early. Enjoy <3  
> Heads up for Explicit content.

     Backing away from the box, Sasuke looked expectantly up to Naruto.  The blond’s gaze was fixed on the items below him, peeking over the edge.  Sliding off the bed and on to his knees, he took the first paper from its dark confines.  The first charcoal drawing of Naruto that had ever been done was in the subject’s trembling hands.  

     “Sasuke, I don’t understand.” Naruto’s eyes were filled with the first traces of tears.

     “Just keep looking.”

     Naruto tried to collect himself, setting the drawing of himself slowly aside before observing the contents left in the large box.  Many other drawings were packed inside; a large Japanese house with a small garden in front of it, an older man asleep on a desk with stacks of papers littered around him, many self portraits of Sasuke most of which were partially torn at the edges or singed from flame, an expressive drawing of a young crying Sasuke with a man’s back turned away from him (Naruto quickly set this one down), a delicate necklace with the same crest as the box, finally a small box Naruto discovered was full of dried flowers with a small birthday note written to Sasuke from his mother.

     Putting the box down in front of Sasuke, he took a deep, calming breath. “Now explain. Start with this one.”

     “My mother used to take me with her to pick flowers.” Sasuke looked to a far away place, “My father and brother were away often on business trips.” He clenched his hands together in his lap.”The note is from my tenth birthday, the day my father found out about our outings. He said it was not an honorable way for the future leader of the Uchiha to be behaving and it made me look weak. My mother stopped taking me after that.” Sasuke’s hands remained pressed together firmly.

     “Why would she stop? It shouldn’t matter how it makes you look if you enjoyed it together, right?”

     Sasuke’s shoulders stiffened, “He.. he was aggressive about it. It was the beginning of a long cycle.”

     Silence enveloped the room, something on Naruto’s face was understanding.  It wasn’t the pity that Sasuke was used to seeing, but more of an expression of relatability. Sasuke’s shoulders slowly relaxed before having the photo of his younger self and the turned figure placed in front of him.  

     “This one then.” Sasuke visibly flinched at the sight of the drawing.

     “God, I hate that one.” He looked away.

     “Why do you keep it then?”

     Sasuke shuffled a little where he sat, “It’s important.” Drawing his legs up to his chest he rested his chin on his knees. “That one is my brother Itachi.  I drew that the night after he told me he would take over our father’s company. Doing that meant he supported my father’s ideals and stood behind him. He was the last one in my family to turn their back on me, after that I was pushed out of our home. I was seventeen.”

     “Where did you go?” Naruto scooted a little closer to where Sasuke was curled in on himself.

     “Nowhere at first, kind of wandered around on the streets, sleeping wherever I could find.  After a few weeks, I stayed with my classmate Hinata and her family until I graduated high school.  Her parents were really traditional and strict so I left right after graduation so I wouldn’t overstay my welcome. Also, I didn’t want to pull Hinata into the crap I was starting to do…” He squeezed his legs a little tighter, closing his eyes. “I fell in with a bad crowd quickly.  I didn’t even take the college placement exams, I just spent all my time with these older boys trying to fit in. It gave me a sense of belonging even if it wasn’t right. After a year of living with some of them I realized I was just a mule to them… Hooked on shit I hated, pushing it around the city for people who only saw me as money, I had to get away. I was constantly surrounded by violence, it wasn't worth the old roof they put over my head. In the end, all I had was my sketchbook and a backpack full of clothes and I couldn’t go home.”

     Sasuke pointed at the stack of self portraits. “Those are all from that year, and as much as I hate looking at them they were my ticket out of that life. The little town I was staying in happened to be a sister city to this town, and I saw a poster for an exchange program for artists hanging outside of the college campus I was selling at.  I applied with those portraits and some other drawings and got a full ride scholarship. Imagine my surprise when I ended up in this dump.” He softly chucked. “At least I’m far away from those people now…”

     It took everything within Naruto’s power to not reach out and hold Sasuke.  He looked so sad as he described what had happened to him. Sasuke seemed to retreat further into himself after speaking and it was a while before Naruto had the courage to continue. He reached out to Sasuke, but lost to his own nervousness and took the drawing away instead, replacing it slowly with the drawing of himself from the cafe.

     “What is this one then.”

     Sasuke gently thumbed the edge of the paper, uncurling himself with a deep sigh.

     “This was the first day I saw you.”

     Naruto waited for him to continue. Sasuke’s eyes did not leave the drawing.

     “Before I met you, my paintings were lifeless.  After coming here and getting clean my life became completely void of emotion, and I ended up painting the same bullshit over and over; landscapes, still life, the occasional model in our studio sessions.  My teacher Kakashi kept getting on my ass about how I lacked motivation, passion. Everything I painted was dull just like my life.” He crossed his legs under him, placing his hands in his lap not daring to look up.

     “I went to the cafe and started drawing - I saw you Naruto.  I had no idea who you were and… it was like light spilled into my life again.” He took a deep breath,  “I was driven wild trying to get your image on paper… I made so many drawings of you just to make sure they were perfect, to do you justice.”

     “Sasuke, I’m not-“

     “No Naruto, it’s true.  Just seeing you sparked life back into my world. Then meeting you I couldn’t stop thinking about you.  It was like living in a nightmare until I could get it on canvas, haunting me to my core until my paintings were complete.  Even now it’s like a fever making me dizzy to be so close to you and not doing anything about it.” 

     Sasuke’s hands were shaking his lap, a single wet droplet rested in his palm, followed by one more.  Shocked at how long he had just talked for, he barely registered Naruto take the drawing to look at it closer.

     His voice cracked, “I don’t understand what this is Naruto. I just know that somehow when I’m around you, when I paint you, I finally feel like I’m doing the right thing.”

     A knee fell into in front of his crossed legs and a shadow fell over him. A pair of warm hands grasped both sides of Sasuke’s face and tilted his head up to meet Naruto just inches away.

      “Sasuke, look at me.” Jet black met sky blue. “You can always paint me.”

     Warm lips crashed into Sasuke’s, pure passion forcing them to part as Naruto stole his tongue.  Wet heat swapped between them as Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut, a tear rolling down his face captured between Naruto’s fingers. The grip on Sasuke’s face tightened as Naruto pulled him upwards to meet his lips deeply, straightening Sasuke’s spine before pushing him backwards, Naruto falling on top of him.  

     Carpet lightly scratched his arms as Naruto’s hands snaked up to press Sasuke’s hands above his head, pinning him down. A wash of coffee beans and salt washed over Sasuke as Naruto dipped down to nestle at Sasuke’s neck, Naruto’s soft blond hair tickling his jaw. A leg pressed between Sasuke’s followed by a light nip to his jaw, a gasp escaped his lips. He could feel Naruto smile against his neck as his heart jumped up to the bruised skin, closing his throat.

      “Sasuke, thank you” Naruto lifted above Sasuke, not releasing his grip on his arms. His words barely a murmur over Sasuke’s own thudding heart. 

     Not opening his eyes, “Why are you thanking me, dumbass.” Sasuke responded, his breath coming in short pants, choking out of his throat.

     A long lick from collarbone to ear, ending with a sharp nip earning Naruto a shudder from the man under him, his voice a low growl in Sasuke’s ear, “I think I finally get it now.” Naruto bit down on Sasuke’s neck, hard, lapping at the goose bumps formed from his words. An involuntary thrust from Sasuke’s hips ground the two men together as a satisfied hum vibrated through Naruto. Noticing Naruto’s arousal Sasuke pressed up this time with intent, a moan escaping Naruto’s lips his breath hot on Sasuke’s collar bone. 

     “Fuck, Naruto…” His words came as barely a whisper gasping through breaths.  Sasuke’s hands slipped free from Naruto’s grasp and grabbed Naruto’s hips hard pressing the man down on top of him. Naruto growled in impatience feeling how hard Sasuke was against him, his eyes locking with Sasuke, lust blown pupils pared with a burning streak of possession before pausing. “Can I -“

     “Yes” Sasuke did not let the blonde finish his sentence before he was pulling Naruto’s shirt off of him, then his own with Naruto’s help.  As Sasuke pulled Naruto down in to an open mouthed kiss, their skin together was like fire, waves of adrenaline and pleasure coursing through their blood. Fumbling hands found Sasuke’s pant buttons popping them open before snaking his way down pushing the clothing aside eagerly.  Sasuke’s nails dug into soft flesh as Naruto thumbed at the exposed sensitive tip, hissing between clenched teeth. Shrugging his sweatpants down a soft heavy weight fell onto Sasuke’s bare stomach, heat pooling on his abdomen momentarily before Naruto grasped the two men together. A collective moan was shared between the two of them before tongue met tongue. A free hand wound upwards, tugging through thick black hair. Naruto worked the two weeping cocks together, breaking the kiss to watch Sasuke come undone below him.

     The usually stoic face below him was shattered. His eyes were fighting to stay open, glazed over with pleasure, his jaw slack as he panted for Naruto to go faster, a deep red blush creeping over his otherwise pale skin. Perspiration lightly dusted his brow sticking his bangs to his forehead in gentle waves. Naruto felt tears threaten to fill his eyes at the beautiful sight, but instead fought waves of emotion down to move his hand slightly rougher, faster to meet Sasuke’s demands. Watching stomach muscles clench under Naruto’s touch, Sasuke threw his head back against the carpet with a silent scream, his eyes clenched shut as warmth spilt over Naruto’s hand, broken moans forming from deep within his chest.

     “Ah-Sasuke..” He breathed out, feeling the convulsions under him, “Fuck, you’re so beautiful” barely a choke as Naruto buckled over quickly following Sasuke, tears escaping the corners of his eyes. Naruto felt his back burning as Sasuke slowly released his grip on him. Pressing a forehead against Sasuke’s collar bone, the two men basked in the heat rolling off of them, their panting breath slowly regaining normalcy.

     Sasuke was the first to move, his hand brushing up Naruto’s sweat slicked neck to lightly brush into his short hair. He tugged lightly bringing Naruto up to him to meet in a slow, gentle kiss.

     A low chuckle played across Naruto’s lips before detaching himself from Sasuke and leaving the room. Sasuke froze against the scratchy carpet, suddenly aware of everything around him in heightened focus.  The smell of Naruto filled his whole bedroom, sweat rolled down his temple as he stared at the ceiling of his small bedroom. He could feel his face slipping back into place as the pace of his heart skipped.  He wondered if he should try to find Naruto - was he supposed to follow? He didn’t know where he went. Left just staring blankly, alone on the floor, his brain was slowly catching up with what just had happened. He had shared with Naruto far more than he had with anyone else, and he still barely knew who he was. His head span with the possibility that all though what just happened was incredible, maybe it wouldn’t happen again. His nail beds hurt as he grasped at the floor.  Naruto had just left him alone without a word, what if he had done all that out of pity for Sasuke?

     A towel was thrown at Sasuke with a laugh.  “Oi, stop glaring at the ceiling Sasuke, I don’t think it’s ever done anything to hurt you before.”

     “Shut up.” Sasuke wiped himself off, broken out of his thoughts, “I bet it’s plotting to cave in on me someday. This place falling apart at the seams.”  _ sounds familiar doesn’t it?  _ Sasuke sat up, pulling his pants back up. 

      A glass of water entered his vision. “Here, brought you this.” The warmest smile Sasuke had ever seen played on Naruto’s lips, before Naruto gathered Sasuke’s chin with a thumb and forefinger, dipping down to place a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth.

     “Can I stay?”

     “…Sure.” _ Of course. _


	5. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New tags have been added~~  
> I'm back to my regular posting schedule of every Wed/Thursday night. Thank you!

     Looking down at his soft blue shirt, Naruto rubbed his smooth cheeks to wake himself up.  Grateful that today his laundry wasn’t too dirty, he pulled on a pair of jeans and socks before tying the laces of his taped sneakers to leave for school.  A big yawn, and a step on to the cold wooden floor as it creaked under his weight in protest was the only ‘good morning’ the boy had to embrace.

     It was his birthday today.  Finally thirteen, he was feeling more adult than most the kids in his class would ever feel.  His foster mom had made him cookies the night before declaring  him a real adult in her eyes. The gesture was kind, the implications were not.  Haku, being a few years older at sixteen, lived with them alongside Lee and Tenten who were a year older than Naruto. He felt close to the kids, more close than he had with any other group he had lived with in the past in the foster care system. Gaara, who was Naruto’s age, was the closest of them all.  The quiet redhead stuck to his side like glue, spending more nights than not creeping into Naruto’s bed after their foster mom had drank herself to sleep. They spent every waking second together, and almost every sleeping second together.

      That morning they walked to school together in comfortable silence, hand in hand, as the autumn breeze swept their hair aside. It was one of the last warm days they would have before the snow came in and they were enjoying every moment of it.  The sun was out as Gaara allowed himself to settle in beside Naruto, the only person whom he would let touch him. Naruto was happy to love Gaara, touching his cheeks when he let out a rare laugh, and holding him close when he cried. It was an honor to be the only person that Gaara trusted.

     They arrived at school a few minutes before the first bell to a couple of cat calls from the older boys. They were used to the cries of “faggot” and “gay boys” even if it wasn't true.  They were just comfortable with each other, and despite whatever Naruto yelled back in defense, it never stopped the teasing. Eventually they just ignored it for favor of their comfortability with each other. A quick, “Don’t let it get to you” to Gaara, Naruto pushed him inside the school and to their first class.

     A slow easy pace set through the course of their classes, nothing unusual as Tenten’s milk carton was tipped over by ‘accident’ by an older student.  Naruto was yelling in outrage held back by an ever certain Lee. It wasn’t fair that the others treated them this way, but there was nothing they could do about it. It wasn’t their fault they each got one day a week to shower, holes in their shoes, faded clothes, and one day a month to do laundry.  It was just how it was in their world.

     Gaara turned to Naruto sheepishly after the bullies had left them be, stating he wished to speak to Naruto after lunch.  Nodding in agreement, they skipped their next class to meet   around the side of the school building.

     “Naruto.” Gaara paused gathering his breath, his hands clasped tightly in front of him.  Naruto tugged on Gaara’s shirt to force him to sit next to him on the hard dirt. “You know what’s happening with Haku and mom, right?”

     It wasn’t a secret that their foster mom had done inappropriate things to Haku in his time spent with them. “Yeah…”

     “Well, she’s begun to do some of the same things to me.  Checking in on me late at night to ensure I’m in bed, touching me in places I’m uncomfortable with, telling me I’m… pretty.  I don’t want to say no because it’s the only place we have to stay… If Haku and I speak up, we will all be separated…’

     Naruto could feel his blood beginning to boil, It wasn’t fair that they were kept at the mercy of someone so morally skewed.

     “Naruto…. Let’s leave. Together.”

     His heart stopped in his chest, “Could we really?”

     “I don’t see why not, we both can fight. We’re both strong.  Just us we could go and leave this place behind. Go somewhere totally different.”

     “Ok… Gaara I trust you,  if you want to leave I’ll go with you.  I just don’t understand why you’re telling just me and not everyone.  Shouldn’t they come too?”

     Gaara paused, his eyes cast downwards. “It’s because you’re different” He mumbled under his breath.

     “Sorry, what?”

      “You’re different, Naruto.” His eyes finally brought up from the ground were they had been fixated. “I can trust you, I want you with me… No matter where we go.”

     “Ok, but why me?”

     Gaara took a small step forward, “How I’ve viewed you for a while goes beyond brotherly love.  I see you as something more.” He shuffled his feet in the dirt. “I know, I know we’re young but all those damn songs on the radio… Those ones about love.  It’s how I feel about you every day. I don’t crawl into your bed just for comfort, I end up there every night because I want you. If that makes you uncomfortable you don’t have to come with me, but I have to let you know how I’ve been feeling before I leave.”

      Eyes growing wider with every word, Naruto took in the words of his best friend like it was the first gulp of water he had ever had the pleasure of drinking.  “Well, what should we do about it then?” He asked through a swallow.

      “Can I, can I kiss you Naruto? I’ve always wanted to try.” A small response was given.

      Naruto swept forward, kissing Gaara lightly.  The feeling unusual but warm and pleasant. He could feel a noise rumbling in his chest before reaching up to touch Gaara’s cheek and deepen the kiss.  His cheeks burned with delight knowing that his best friend felt so strongly about him. They separated with a soft laugh, Gaara’s cheeks matched Naruto’s in a dusty rose and a light sparkle graced his glance. Pressing forward to laugh with their lips pressed together in a sweet smile, the two boys stepped closer their breath catching in time.

     “Oh no fucking way.” 

     A group of five older boys rounded the corner, revealing the intimate scene in front of them. “I can’t believe it, finally catching these two faggots in the act. What luck!” The center boy cracked his knuckles, a cruel smile playing on his lips.

      Naruto pushed Gaara behind him reading himself to fight, hoping that Gaara wouldn’t need to join today.  Too many times had Naruto covered for Gaara when he got too bloodthirsty in the past. 

      The boys rounded on them, picking Naruto up by the front of his soft shirt.  He could hear the seams of his collar popping under the tight grip as the older boy breathed in his face, “Yeah, you like when boys get this close, don’t you fudge packer.” Before throwing him to the ground and kicking him sharp in the stomach.  Naruto could hear Gaara yell behind him before hitting the ground, hard. A cracking bounce as Gaara’s head hit the cement brought Naruto whipping around before being kicked in the ribs. Looking behind him he saw Gaara, laying still on the ground, bleeding, as the other boys rounded back to him. 

      “Hold him down, it’s time to teach this fairy what it really means to be a man. We’ll do his boyfriend next.” A cruel chuckle as a knife pulled out from the student’s boot with a swipe. “Yeah, hold him just like that.” Hands crept up Naruto’s arms, more hands pinned down his knees restraining him.

     “You won’t forget today, will you?” The knife slit one line cleanly through his right cheek followed by two more.  His screams sounded foreign before the world went black.

     Bright light filled Naruto’s vision as he blinked through tears. His face burned, ribs ached, and his body was sore. “Ugh, where’s Gaara?” He mumbled before checking to see who was in the room with him.

      “Naruto! Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re awake.  Gaara is in another room. He’s okay, I promise.” A light concerned voice called out to him.

      “Tenten?” A croak before rubbing his eyes clear to survey where he was.  A white hospital room filled his senses, sterile and cold with only one beacon of warmth - his wonderful foster sister.

      “Yeah bud, you’re a tough one you know! You coulda died from blood loss or internal bleeding but here you are! I’m so glad you’re ok!”

     “Where’s Gaara?” His memory flooded with images of his best friend bleeding out in front of him as those boys… “What happened to the people who attacked us?”

     “They got caught by me and Lee, trust me, we won’t let them go unpunished!”

      Naruto sighed in relief, he really was in good hands. Between Tenten and Lee, no one could get away.

     “Lee and Mom are with Gaara, the nurse said once you were awake you could go visit them. Want to go?” Before she finished her sentence Naruto was swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. Nodding he rushed passed Tenten the best he could after losing so much blood to run to Gaara’s room.  A word from Tenten and he had the number memorized in his head. Five-twenty-three. It would never leave him.

     Pushing past a questioning nurse, he burst through the hospital room door.  His foster mom, met with a glare from Naruto, left the room. A nod from Lee and a clap on the shoulder he also took a departure from the room, leaving Naruto in a clean room with the most important person in the world.

      “…Gaara…” 

     He was paler than usual, a large bandage taped to his forehead.  He looked so, so small in the bed with all these tubes coming from him. 

      “What did they do to you…?” Naruto climbed up into the bed with him, covering them both with the scratchy blanket.

     “Naruto, what did they do to you?” 

     “I asked first asshole.” A small chuckle danced from Naruto’s lips before resuming his concerned look towards his friend.

     Gaara reached up and struggled, slowly removing the bandage stuck to his skull.

     A large section of skin had been cut away from his forehead in the shape of a crude heart right above his left eyebrow. He shrunk down in to the bed under Naruto’s intense stare.  Growing more furious with each passing second, Naruto started to shake.

     “What did they do to you, Naruto. It’s not fair if only one of us does show and tell.” A small smile, before grasping Naruto’s hand.

     Naruto sighed as he started removing the bandages on his face. “You’re lucky, bastard. They knocked you out first.” The deep slits in his cheeks mirroring each other revealed to the boy in the hospital bed were jarring in contrast to his flesh. “It was… really painful.” Silence enveloped them for an uncomfortable amount of time.

     “I should have never told you Naruto.  If I didn’t kiss you, tell you how I felt… This would have never happened. I’m so sorry.” The worlds tumbled out of the red head, broken in the hospital bed.

     “Don’t you dare. This would have happened eventually no matter what we did.” Naruto’s stare pinned him down. Silence enveloped the two, they felt so fragile in the bare white room.

     Naruto leaned back, laying next to Gaara. Grabbing the boys arm and wrapping it around him he leaned forward to comfort the only person in the world who could understand him in that moment.

 

______

  
  


     “Naruto, NARUTO.” Sasuke’s voice cut through the haze of Naruto’s dream. Feeling himself shaking he bolted upright in the small bed. Blinking several times and wiping hot tears out of his eyes, his hands felt clammy as he tried to take stock of his surroundings.  

     “Gaara…” Naruto’s head sank down into his hands, pushing fists into his eye sockets to try to press the dream out of his thoughts.

     “You ok? You were crying out in your sleep.” A gentle hand reached out to rest in-between Naruto’s slumped shoulders. A cheek followed, pressing itself against his warm back.

     Naruto allowed Sasuke’s hands to snake around his waist. Leaning into the touch, “It was just a bad dream, sorry. They happen a lot, almost every night. I probably should have warned you” Naruto’s voice was small as he relaxed into the embrace with a forced chuckle.

     “Wanna talk about it, this Gaara person?” Sasuke’s eyelids slipped closed enjoying the smell of Naruto’s shirt pressed against his face.  _ Does he always smell like coffee?  _ He hummed lightly tightening his grip around Naruto.

     “Yeah, just give me a moment.” A sigh as Naruto laid back down curling himself around his bed mate.  Letting the memory wash over him he slowly opened up to Sasuke about what he had dreamt about. 

     “He was my brother well, not my real brother.  We were in the foster system together when I was twelve to thirteen.  He was my first real friend.” The longer Naruto spoke, the more awake Sasuke became.  By the end of his story Sasuke was seething, sitting up in bed over Naruto. His heart sunk down into the bottom of his stomach and complete dread overcame him as Naruto explained how the foster kids were all separated after the incident.  Gaara and Haku had spoken up about the sexual abuse they had endured and they were all sent to different homes.

     “Fuck, I always figured your scars were a touchy subject, but I had no idea it was that bad.”

     A muffled, “yeah…” Barely heard from the pillow Naruto had pressed his face in to at the end of his explanation was all the response Sasuke got. He laid still as Sasuke watched the back of his head.

     “Naruto, you know they don’t bother me, right?”

     A small grunt as Naruto turned away from Sasuke.

     “Naruto, hey, Naruto. Look at me.” Sasuke crawled over him sticking his face in front of Naruto’s.  “Do you really think I would be so… obsessed… with painting you if they bothered me? No. It’s the opposite, ok?” 

     Naruto’s eyes opened to meet Sasuke’s upside down gaze. A small smile curved on his lips seeing Sasuke’s bangs hanging away from his face before grabbing Sasuke and pulling him down. With their foreheads pressed together Naruto scooted closer, wrapping them both with the blanket. “So you don’t hate me now?”

     “No Dobe.”

     “Good I’m already traumatized enough, I don’t need to be scarred for life a second time.”

     Sasuke’s hand fell onto Naruto’s face in a mock slap. “That was a shitty pun, go to sleep. It’s 4 am.” Naruto crawled on top of Sasuke and became dead weight with an exaggerated whine, “Awww, only if I can sleep here tonight Teme.” Before loudly snoring on top of Sasuke, who accepted his fate as Naruto’s pillow. With warm smile he quickly dozed off.

  
  


________

  
  


     Leaning against the metal counter, Sasuke lazily watched his boyfriend work.  _ Yeah, guess that’s a thing now.  _ Naruto couldn’t even wait one day after he slept over at Sasuke’s to ask - well, no, he didn’t ask.  He just started calling Sasuke his boyfriend and he really didn’t want to argue the validity of that statement.  Sasuke rolled his eyes and threw whatever was in his hands at the dumb blonde whenever he said it, but Sasuke never once said to stop.  Sakura thankfully was finally acting normal towards him. Indifferent even, which was a blessing after all the years of her eyes constantly following his every move.  

     Another customer walked through the door and Sasuke put his other earbud in, blocking out the conversations around him.  His phone vibrated in his pocket,  _ Hey Sas! Will you be home for new years!? I showed Mom your new paintings and she wants you around :) _

     Hn, Hinata.  Sasuke made half an effort to keep in touch with the charming girl after he moved to the United States.  Being away from his past helped him feel as if he could reach back out to his closer friends again, the friends who stood by him even when he was strung out and acting like an absolute disaster of a human being.  The list was small, but Hinata and her family was at the top of the list.

_      Cant, broke college kid remember? _

_      Ah bummer, We all miss u. :( Maybe i can pull some strings for next year?  _

_      Yea, I’d like that. _

_      Oh wow, look at you being all friendly :0 Maybe we can drag that cute blonde here too, hmm? Seems like he might be warming up the ice prince :P :P _

     Sasuke glared at his phone, give the girl an inch and she’ll run the whole mile. 

_      Fuck off hinata. _

_      Mmmm there he is. _

     Sasuke tucked his phone away shaking his head. Pushing the headphones deeper into his ear drums he took in the busy cafe.  Bustling with the normal afternoon swarm of students and regulars from the neighborhood, it was comforting. The golden glow of the lights fought against the clouded sky outside, impending snow heaving in their folds. It was almost Christmas and Sasuke had no idea what to do for it as usual. It was rough around this time of year since he arrived for school, all his classmates would go home for the holidays;  something that Sasuke was not able to do financially or emotionally. Cheesy decorations handcrafted by Naruto and Sakura hung in the windows, bringing a charm to the place.

     Lost in his thoughts he enjoyed the warmth coming from the machines behind him and the smell of fresh coffee.  Naruto was really good at his job, his natural charm and cheerful demeanor earning him many new regulars and constant tips.  It had become one of Sasuke’s favorite activities to sit and watch him as he smiled at every person who came in through the door.  The small chime of the bell now made Sasuke see that warm smile every time it sounded, even when he wasn’t looking.

     A sharp tap on his shoulder jolted him back upright, pulling one headphone out of his ear.

     “Hey, someone says they’re here to see you.” Naruto’s voice came timidly, his eyes concerned. 

     “Otouto.”

      The deep velvet voice froze Sasuke in place. 

     “Itachi.” Naruto’s jaw dropped, a latte in hand as he looked from one brother to the other.

     “Oh, shit.” Naruto hurried away to put the latte on the pick up counter, choking out the order’s name.

     “Sit with me, Sasuke.” Coming slightly softer, the voice still did nothing to disguise its commanding presence. Itachi stood taller than Sasuke, his long hair tied in a low ponytail as sleek as the black suit he wore. “Please.”

     Sasuke shook himself out of his trance. 

      “No.” 

      Making a beeline for the door, he brushed passed his older brother who grabbed him firmly by the shoulder. “Now that is no way to treat your family, Sasuke.  Come sit with me, I have a gift for you. It is almost Christmas, is it not?” 

      The brothers paused while a few spectators eyed them curiously.  “Fine, but make it quick.” Sasuke ripped Itachi’s hand off of his shoulder and stalked to a small table in the back, Naruto’s wide eyes following the whole scene closely.

     Sitting down with a small huff, Sasuke leaned back and crossed his arms surveying his brother.  Itachi had aged, the last few years of work had not treated him well. His skin was lackluster, the lines under his eyes prominent. Momentary concern shot over Sasuke as he took in the sight of the first person he trusted, the one he loved the most before remembering how he had left him on the streets.

      “What do you want.” 

      “Well, before you get up and storm out, Father asked me to bring this to you.” A slim white envelope slid across the table towards Sasuke. 

      Itachi was right as usual, the only thing Sasuke wanted to do was run.  He made to stand from the table before looking at what the older man had pushed his way.

     “Sasuke, sit back down. At least accept the gift from your family.”

     “Hn, why are you really here, _ brother. _ ” The last word more of a curse than a title.

      “I wanted to see you for Christmas, of course.”

     Sasuke scoffed, “That’s bullshit and you know it.” Sasuke sat back down fully.

     “Hm, so that’s the sort of language you’ve been learning here? Maybe you should come back after all..” Itachi trailed off.

     “Learning that shit here? No. I learned to speak like this after you and Father dumped me on the streets to fend for myself.  May I remind you I was fucking seventeen? Shit, that’s a pretty impressionable age to be thrown out and left alone, don’t you think?” Sasuke’s voice was quiet and sharp while he watched a flicker of guilt cross his brother’s face.

     Itachi stood from the table. “I’m sorry Sasuke, Father is too.  Take care of yourself.” He swept out of the cafe, leaving Sasuke to only watch with his mouth slightly hanging open.

_      … Sorry? _

     After all these years….  _ Sorry?  _ Sending Itachi all the way here just to throw it in his face that they finally had a scrap of remorse for how they treated Sasuke, it was inexcusable. The bell chimed signaling the departure of the only family Sasuke had in the country, he turned his anger towards the stark white paper resting against the worn table.

     “Sasuke, what the fuck just happened, are you ok? What was that?” Naruto had hurried over to him as soon as Itachi had left.

     “That was Itachi.”

      “Woooooow, holy shit!”

      “What?”

      “He’s hot.”

      Sasuke shot Naruto a nasty look from his seat. “Don’t say that ever again.”

      “What? It’s good to know you’ll age well.” Naruto winked, “Are you going to open that or just glare at it?”

      Naruto snatched the paper off of the table and filled the void that Itachi had left. Sitting across from Sasuke he silently urged him for permission to open the envelope.  When he received no response me grumbled, “Fine coward, I’ll open it for you then.” He shrugged, ripping the paper open.

     “Damn! Aren't these like, really expensive?” A pair of plane tickets waved in Naruto’s hand. Sasuke grabbed them from him to look closer. A flight to Japan and a return back to the United States from December 28th to Jan 2nd. New years, of course. The years of watching the sun rise with his family, the dinner the night before, festivals in the streets flooded his memory.  

     “Are you going to go?” Naruto’s voice was expectant, but cautious.

     Sasuke shrugged, tucking the tickets away in his pocket. “Maybe. I don’t know.” Naruto stayed still, waiting for him to go on but was met with nothing.

     “So, your family seriously flew your sexy brother all the way out to bum-fuck nowhere just to bribe you with tickets? Couldn’t they just call or email? Seems really excessive.”

     “That’s my family for you. They know my brother’s the only one I might even begin to listen to. Even that’s a stretch.” Sasuke thought back to his brother’s words.  What a pathetic apology. Even so, it was the only time he had ever heard his brother apologize for anything. Maybe this ticket was the only way his family knew how to express how they felt after all this time.

     “Oh there’s a note too, what’s it say?” Naruto handed him a small slip of paper with neat Japanese scrawled across it.

_      Please come home, I miss you. - Mom _


	6. Presents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gonna get spicy heads up ;)

     “So, your family is really rich then?” Naruto prodded Sasuke, teasing over the noise of a drink being frothed. “Think they would pay my rent?”

     Sasuke tried to laugh, he knew Naruto was trying to cheer him up but the interaction he just had with his brother still had him shaking. He grunted in response, “No, don’t be dumb. They didn’t get rich by giving people money.”

     “Ouch. I’ll have you know I’m a straight A psychology student, anything but dumb.”

     “Yes, very straight.” Sasuke fished in his pockets for his headphones with a dismissive huff.

     “Shut up Teme, you’re just mad you’re not getting creamed like this coffee right now.” Naruto spun away from Sasuke to call out the order name. “So speaking of getting creamed, what are you doing for Christmas, hopefully not hiding from your brother?”

     “Never mention my brother and cream in the same sentence again.” One headphone hung from his ear as he pulled out his phone, intentionally not glancing up at his partner.

     “Yeah ok. Well, Shikamaru and I are having a party for Christmas at our place. He isn’t going home for the holidays and is apparently interested in meeting you.” Naruto leaned over the counter wiggling his eyebrows, smiling. “Please come?”

     “Hn, fine. Just don’t expect me to be friendly.”

     “You? Never!” Naruto ruffled his boyfriend's raven hair dodging the incoming slap Sasuke sent his way.  “Oi, Sakura! Wanna come too?”

     Sakura cheerfully accepted the invite while Sasuke turned his attention back to his phone.

_      fine, i accept. on one condition. _

_      Now what would that be, otouto? _

_       A second ticket, same flight, seat next to mine. Otherwise it’s a no. _

_      I can arrange that. I need the information of the secondary person for the purchase.  _

     Sasuke’s fingers paused over the screen before sealing his fate.

_      Uzumaki Naruto _

     “I’m heading out Naruto, I’ll see you later.” Sasuke shoved the other earbud in his free ear and stalked out of the cafe with Naruto’s confused expression drilling into the back of his skull.

_      Done. Anything else? _

     Sasuke fought the bitter cold whipping his scarf around his face while he walked home. Ice crunching under every step as he tried to digest everything that had happened that day.  He wasn’t one to wait on decisions, making them rapidly but not without consideration. He couldn’t see Naruto being upset about a plane ticket to Japan, if Sasuke had to meet Naruto’s best friend for Christmas it was only fair he would meet Sasuke’s for new years. Sasuke justified his choice of dragging Naruto along while zipping his thick coat tighter around his neck refusing to admit the truth to himself.

     He was absolutely terrified to go home, and was not strong enough to go alone.

_      No, i don’t need anything else. _

 

_ _______ _

 

     The townhome was bursting at the seams when Sasuke arrived, he pushed the horde of people out of his way as he took in the scene.  It was just about what Sasuke expected. The paint was worn and peeling in a few places, smoke hung in the air, classic rock played from an old boombox on the kitchen counter and of course, a very loud blonde in the center of it all.

     “Sasuke!” A cry came from the star of the show. Before disconnecting himself from a flushed Sakura he bounced over to swing his arms around his much stiffer, quiet lover. “I was starting to think you wouldn’t come!”

     “Dobe, I’m an asshole but I’ll still come to your dumb parties.” He mumbled into Naruto’s shirt, “You’re suffocating me.”

     Naruto barked a laugh before letting go of Sasuke, “Drinks are in the fridge, I’m gonna go tell Shikamaru you’re here.”

     Sasuke grabbed a drink from the kitchen not able to shake the looming feeling that he was bout to play show and tell, unfortunately as the show. Taking a shot of whatever was closest to him, chasing it with also whatever was closest to him, he braced himself before heading back into the storm of people.

     “Come upstairs, he doesn’t like loud environments very much either.” Naruto snaked a hand around Sasuke’s waist, surprising him before guiding him in the direction of the stairs.

     Shikamaru was sitting in front of his computer, a nice one at that, while pulling his shaggy brown hair up in to a high ponytail. Cigarette dangling from his lip he lazily turned to look at who had entered into his room.

      “Ah, I thought he was lying.” His deadpan expression did nothing to hide the amusement lighting his eyes. “You actually are hot. Nice one, Naruto.”

      “Shika-“ 

     “Sit down, take this.” Shikamaru reached out his hand holding a tightly rolled joint in Sasuke’s direction. Sitting down on an ugly loveseat crammed against the wall, Naruto smoothly brought a lighter up to meet Sasuke’s needs. “So tell me, how do you get off at night knowing you traumatized my friend here with your artwork.”

      Choking on smoke, "What?”

      “…Shikamaru you promised.”

      A coy grin lit Shikamaru’s face as he tipped his cigarette into the ashtray. “Fine.” He turned his gaze to Sasuke, a serious look cut through an otherwise lazy demeanor. “You better not freak him out like that again though.” Something about how he held himself cast any doubt that the man in front of him couldn't rightfully protect his friends.

       “I don’t intend on it.” The icy glare was enough to have Shikamaru backing down with a chuckle, waving his hand dismissively.

      “You gonna camp on that all night?” The seriousness melted away as Shikamaru snatched the joint from between Sasuke’s fingers.  Relighting it properly he sat back into his computer chair. “You’re oddly quiet, Naruto.” Smoke swirled through the small room.

      “Yeah, I just uhh, was trying to think of a bad joke to lighten the mood but they were all froth and no substance.” 

      Shikamaru shook his head and passed Naruto the joint.  “Always a fucking coffee reference with you.” 

      “I’ll have you know I’ve been building my collection of art related puns too since I met Sasuke, but I don’t think he’s been in the right frame of mind to accept them.” 

      Sasuke rolled his eyes, “The best you can do is frame? That’s hardly even an art pun, Naruto. Even I could do better than that.”

     Naruto perked up to the challenge. “Oh yeah?”

      “Yeah, I’ve been meaning to tell you about this new blonde paint I got actually.” Sasuke took a long drag, “I didn’t tell you about it, did I?”

      “….No?”

      Sasuke exhaled only inches away looking Naruto directly in the eyes, “Well, it’s not that bright.  But it’s cheap and spreads easily.”

      A loud snort left Shikamaru as Naruto pushed Sasuke away from him, “Yeah you wish, Sasuke.” He curved a blonde eyebrow upward,  “If you ask nicely you can find out just how easily I spread.” 

      “Get out of my room.” Shikamaru turned away from the two on the loveseat with a dismissive wave typing away at his computer once more.

      “You heard the man, come on.” Naruto pulled Sasuke up and off of the loveseat leaving the smoky room full of Shikamaru’s laughter behind. 

 

      Naruto’s room was small, with a full sized bed pushed into the far corner and several worn posters scattered on light blue walls. He started digging through a nearly empty closet mumbling to himself as Sasuke awkwardly leaned against the door frame. He watched as Naruto bent over the closet floor with an eyebrow raised, feeling the vibrations of the party below through the old floorboards.

       “You think it’s safe to leave all those idiots downstairs unattended?” Sasuke mused to himself more than anything.

       Naruto’s head poked up from his task, “Oh yeah, Sakura’s got on eye on shit for me, I asked her in advance in case you showed up.”

       Sasuke could just imagine the girl blushing at Naruto’s request.  She honestly knew too much, what with how much of an unintentional loudmouth Naruto could be.  It would do them all a favor if she found a boyfriend so she could stop fixating on Naruto and Sasuke’s relationship every time Naruto and her had a shift together. The girl was honestly obsessive, and Sasuke had trouble seeing why Naruto was so fond of her.

      Naruto tumbled backwards out of the closet with a loud thump on to his back. Clutching two small packages to his chest, his blush snapped Sasuke out of his thoughts. 

       “Here, I got you this.” Naruto rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow, waving the first small package at Sasuke. Sitting on the ground next to Naruto, Sasuke slowly took the package.

       “You really didn’t have to, you know.” He mumbled to himself with a small sigh. Of course Naruto went out of his way to get him something for Christmas, he shook his head to clear the guilt settling in before opening the orange wrapping paper.  

        “Really.” Sasuke’s voice was flat as he glared up at Naruto. Who had immediately burst out laughing, banging his fist on the ground at the sight of Sasuke’s cold expression while holding up a pair of bright pink fuzzy handcuffs. “What the fuck Dobe.”

       Wiping tears of mirth out from the corners of his eyes, “What you don’t like them? I always thought pink would be a lovely color on you.” Crawling on his hands and knees up to Sasuke, “Plus they perfectly match that blush of yours, teme.” Naruto practically purred at Sasuke, enjoying the man’s startled expression. His eyes sparkled in the low light, breath lightly brushing Sasuke’s cheek hovering close enough to feel the heat of Sasuke’s blush. Naruto abruptly pulled away with a coy smile, “Don’t worry that’s not your real gift”.

      The second orange package was placed in Sasuke’s lap, making him jump lightly at the sudden impact.  “You gonna just sit there blushing or open it?” Naruto gave Sasuke a cheesy wink. The package was small and rectangle, the wrapping surprisingly neat with a small blue ribbon tied into a single bow. Carefully peeling the tape open Sasuke unwrapped it, to find a slim leather box.

      The necklace inside was delicate, featuring a blue crystal hanging between two equally blue beads on a silver chain. 

      “Do you like it?” Two blue eyes, the same shade as the crystals in his hand, were full of honest curiosity. 

      Sasuke looked down at the necklace again, it was so beautiful in it’s simplicity. “Are you sure this is for me? It looks… expensive.”

      Naruto rubbed the back of his head, “I didn’t buy it. Don’t look at me like that - I didn’t steal it either, who do you think I am!?” Naruto’s broad smile softened, “It was my mom’s necklace.  Well, not my real mom, she was the last foster mom I had, even if she was old enough to be my grandma.” A chuckle left him as he explained, “She was the only one out of all the homes I was in that really gave a crap about me.  She was a drunk, and a gambler, but man she really had my back despite everything. I would have never graduated high school or stayed out of trouble if she wasn't so tough on me. She gave me that necklace when I turned eighteen, saying it belonged to whomever I loved the most.”

       Naruto looked away with a small pout on his face, “So, you’ll accept it then, right?” Sasuke was silent as he placed the necklace back in Naruto’s hand. Naruto’s heart sunk, clenching the necklace in his hand before noting that Sasuke had turned away from him. He stared at the back of Sasuke’s head for a moment, his heart clenching as tightly as the necklace in his palm.

      “Naruto,” Sasuke looked over his shoulder, “You gonna put it on for me or not?” His hand and heart unclenched in unison before scrambling to place the necklace around Sasuke’s throat. Leaning back into Naruto’s lap with a small sigh, Sasuke fingered the small crystal resting on his chest before pulling a small navy envelope out of his pocket.

      “Here.” the envelope was shoved behind Sasuke. Detaching one arm that had looped around Sasuke’s waist, Naruto took the present. “It’s not as thoughtful as your gift, sorry.” Sasuke leaned his head back against Naruto’s chest, a chin resting on his head as he watched Naruto’s hands fumble with the paper. “It’s also not much warning, and I didn’t know what else to get you.” Sasuke mumbled on as Naruto pulled a plane ticket out from the dark envelope.

      “Wait, Sasuke how did you pull this off?” His voice accompanied with a soft gasp as he saw the ticket was for the same date and place as Sasuke’s. “Isn’t it really hard to get a ticket like this last minute, and for the same flight?”

      Sasuke’s voice was barely audible, “I asked Itachi.”

      “Holy fuck, you.. Asked your brother for help?” Naruto pushed Sasuke to spin him around to face him in his lap. “That’s about the hottest thing you’ve ever done, Sasuke.” Naruto was beaming holding the ticket to his chest. “I’m so proud of you, that’s the best christmas gift you could have ever gotten me. Not only are you going to see your family, you even asked for them to help you get this ticket.  You don’t know how much that means to me.” He grasped his fingers through Sasuke’s hair, pulling down to kiss him roughly, gasping as his fingers intertwining thick black strands tightly. Teeth clashing Sasuke pulled himself up into Naruto’s lap, straddling him groaning at the contact. Half lidded eyes barely concealed the intense look Naruto gave his lover as they disconnected, panting. 

      “You’re so much stronger than you realize Sasuke.” Naruto kissed his throat, tugging his hair to arch Sasuke’s back. A low moan vibrated through Sasuke as his hips slid forward to press against Naruto. A hand supported his back as his head was dragged backwards slowly lowering him to the floor, Naruto following on top of him. A small thud on the floor as Naruto released Sasuke, his hand reaching down to grasp his ass with no hesitation. “You were so brave to ask for a ticket for me, I’m so thankful.” Naruto’s words ran chills through Sasuke’s body, warming his stomach.  The praise had him a shaking mess under the blonde’s warm body. Shuddering as Naruto’s hand grasped him harder pulling his hips up to meet his own, “You like being told how good you are, don’t you?” He could feel Sasuke’s arousal already pressing against his own, he leaned down to kiss under his jaw feeling Sasuke’s heart pulsing in his veins with his lips. Slicking his throat with a messy kiss and lick, Naruto murmured against Sasuke’s skin, “You’re such a good boy Sasuke, wanting me so badly you’ll drag me all the way to Tokyo. You want me so badly you can’t stand to be away from me even for a week, can you?”

      “Bed, now.” A strangled command choked it’s way out of Sasuke, words hard between each panting breath. Naruto detached himself, pulling Sasuke up with him before throwing him down onto the bed. Straightening up he paused to observe the daubouched man waiting for him on his bed. 

      “Hng, you have no idea how many times I’ve imagined you like that, right there waiting on my bed.” Naruto bent over him, pinning each of Sasuke’s hands down with his own. “You look even lovelier than I imagined you though.” He kissed the corner of Sasuke’s mouth, moving a knee onto the bed to slip between Sasuke’s legs. Sliding the knee up to meet Sasuke, Naruto relished in the strangled moan that came from his pinned lover. “Take off your clothes, I want to watch.” 

     “Wait, what?” Naruto took a step back from Sasuke, releasing his grip on him and eyebrow raised at Sasuke’s questioning.  Crossing his arms, “You heard me, Sasuke.”

      Sasuke slowly lifted his hands from the bed to unbutton his shirt, taking his time to carefully loop each button free revealing collarbone, then chest.  If Naruto thought he could command him he would make him suffer watching. The shirt parted over Sasuke’s body, the air chill against his skin. Sasuke watched as Naruto’s expression shifted slightly his eyes widening as Sasuke ran a few fingers down his exposed torso, pausing to tease his own nipple. Naruto shifted where he stood, eyelids fluttering slightly at the sight.  

        Sasuke’s hand traveled down his torso to thumb at his pant line, letting his fingers dip below the fabric with a low moan.  He loved watching Naruto trying to hide his lust behind his crossed arms as Sasuke teased himself under his clothing. 

      “Sasuke, the pants too.” Naruto’s voice came more of a whisper at this point than anything.

      A button popping then a zip, Sasuke shrugged his pants off, kicking them to the side. Naruto’s eyes never left Sasuke’s body stripping before him, shifting his weight slightly to his left foot feeling desire pooling in his lower belly. A low hum of satisfaction left Naruto as he took in the damp spot wetting Sasuke’s underwear as the outline of his erection strained formidably against the fabric.

      “Mm, Sasuke. Just look at you.” Naruto finally uncrossed his arms taking a step forward. “Will you be good for me and take those off too?” He licked his lips as he crouched down, eye level with the show before him.

      Shuttering, Sasuke slowly pulled down his briefs turning his head to the side to hide from Naruto’s intense stare. Completely nude, his cock red with neglect, Sasuke prayed to sink further into the bed below him. What kind of torture was this? Last time Naruto had been so eager to touch him, but now seemed content just staring.

       “Touch yourself for me, won’t you?” Naruto’s voice was like velvet, slowly slinking around Sasuke. The sounds of the party on the floor below seemed to fade away with every word Sasuke heard, letting it envelop him, capturing his breath. Sasuke timidly teased his own tip, feeling the exessive amount of pre-cum beading there. He couldn’t think of another time his own touch shocked him like this. Feeling the slick hit his forefinger a compulsive moan grabbed around his throat forcing his head backwards into the soft blankets.  It was like static traveled down his length, his fingers trying to chase the sensation, rapidly grasping around his girth to stroke firmly at his weeping cock. His eyes squeezed shut, relishing in the familiarity of his own hand.

       “Good boy, Sasuke.” Caught up in his own pleasure Sasuke had forgotten about being watched. His head snapped up with a renewed blush creeping from his cheeks to his collarbone. “Don’t stop, you look beautiful.” A strangled whimper held behind Sasuke’s lips as he picked up his task with more fervor.  Struggling to keep his eyes open, Sasuke watched the blonde watching him, Naruto’s expression becoming more passionate by the minute. The way Naruto watched Sasuke had him feeling like prey being hunted. Naruto just waiting for the right moment to strike, to possess,  _ to claim. _

       “Tell me Sasuke,” His lustful eyes shot up to meet Sasuke’s gaze, “Are you mine?”

      “Ye-Yes” Sasuke barely could speak around his heart resting in his throat.

        Naruto’s intense stare had Sasuke hand pausing around his length. “And do you want me?”

       Sasuke’s cock twitched with desire at the words. “Yes.” His voice was barely a murmur.

      Taking the final step forward, Naruto pressed his knee between Sasuke’s legs again and leaned over him, “What was that? You’ll have to speak up.” Naruto’s coy grin was smiling right into Sasuke’s ear.  He could feel the heat of Naruto’s words hitting his neck and traveling down his spine.

       “Yes, Naruto.”

       A rough bite landed itself into the curve of Sasuke’s neck, searing him with intensity. He nearly screamed at the sudden attention after what felt like years of neglect. Naruto’s hands grasped at Sasuke’s rib cage roughly, holding him down against the mattress. Sasuke grasped at Naruto’s shirt, sick of being the only one exposed, ripping it up and over his lover’s head.  Naruto in agreement was already unfastening his pants and sliding them off of his body.

       “Fuck, Sasuke. Look what watching you did to me. You put on such a good show for me, thank you.” Naruto took himself into his hand sitting up above Sasuke, showing off the swollen leaking head. “You deserve it all, don’t you?” He slowly stroked himself over Sasuke.

        “Naruto, please….” Sasuke was frozen under Naruto.

       “Please what, babe?” Naruto tilted his head, biting his lower lip.  
“Please stop fucking teasing me.” Sasuke bolted up to grab Naruto’s shoulders with a growl, tossing him underneath him, pressing his torso into the blankets. Sasuke swept down to kiss Naruto with an open mouth, his fingers lightly closing around Naruto’s throat. “I can only take so much.” The fingers tightened. “You don’t get to have all the fun.”

       His grip relaxed around the throat. “You looked like you were having fun earlier though.” Naruto snapped back with a gasp. His eyes flickered towards his table side drawer, giving Sasuke an unintentional hint.

      Sasuke slid up Naruto’s torso, using his knees and feet to pin Naruto’s arms and legs down. Naruto glared at the man above him, watching him retrieve a small bottle and condom from the drawer. 

        “If you like watching so much then let me really give you a show, Na-ru-to.” Sasuke teased as he flipped the cap of the lube open and poured some of the contents on his fingers. He slid off of Naruto on to the other side of the bed, and leaned back exposing himself to a slack jawed Naruto.

       A single digit traced over his rim, slicking the entrance with the lube before pressing inside. Sasuke’s face scrunched as he wound his arm around himself tighter to reach a better angle, letting his finger slide in further. Naruto shifted on his side of the bed, but Sasuke’s foot was quick to push him back.

       “No, stay where you are.” A second finger joined the first.

        Naruto was painfully hard, his whole being bursting outward. He was whimpering at the sight of Sasuke stretching himself slowly open, but whenever Naruto made to move closer a foot kicked him back again. Three fingers slicked into Sasuke, slowly fucking himself trying to reach an even more pleasurable spot.

        A silent scream as Sasuke struck gold again and again, pleasuring himself and torturing Naruto. Forcing him to keep his distance.

        “Sasuke, I swear to god if you don’t let me be the one to make you cum I will kick your ass.” His fingers slowed as he peered one eye open to glare at the man who challenged him.

      “Was that you asking permission?” The other eye opened to stare Naruto down.

       “Yes.” Naruto was exhibiting every ounce of self control he had left. “Please let me fuck you, let me make you scream. Let me have you, Sasuke.” His words tumbled out, pleading.

       A small nod was all Naruto needed to snatch the condom from his side and rip it open with his teeth while crawling on top of Sasuke. Rolling it down his painful erection he grabbed Sasuke’s hand still inside of himself and lifted it above Sasuke’s head, Sasuke barely had time to whine about the loss before his hand was replaced by something much more desirable.

       Lining himself up, Naruto pressed forward. His ears rang as he slowly slid inside the overwhelming heat, half pulling Sasuke down around him until he was fully resting against Naruto’s hips.

       “Fuck-Sasuke.” he leaned down to lock his lips with his beautiful boyfriend, trying to not orgasm immediately after waiting so long. He tasted like heaven, an unwrapped present just for him. He pulled out slowly, slamming his hips down with a lewd smack. He felt like heaven too.  Another smack and a gasp filled the room. Sasuke looked up at Naruto, and it was finally just them in the world.

       In that exact moment, Naruto decided there was nothing more he could want than to watch his stoic lover absolutely fall apart under him.  With every thrust Sasuke panted and moaned, fueling the desire within Naruto to do everything possible to watch his partner’s expression break. He would find every angle to make Sasuke scream, every spot to grasp to make Sasuke moan with want. It was his newfound mission to explore every crevice and curve of him until all the land was charted on a scale of least to most pleasurable.

       Pulling Naruto closer to him, Sasuke rolled them both to sit himself on top of Naruto. Placing both hands on his torso holding him down, Sasuke set his own pace sliding his lover in and out of himself. Naruto was perfect for him, a constant battle of pleasure. Fighting for control and power, a struggle in perfect balance as his cock bobbed lewdly while thrusting Naruto harder into himself. He could feel Naruto’s abdomen clenching under his grip, muscles fighting off the wave of pleasure from Sasuke’s new pace. Naruto’s hand reached up to caress Sasuke’s face, he leaned into the gentle touch before lapping a digit into his mouth. Swirling his tongue around the finger, then a second finger, saliva collected down the hand and dripped down on to Naruto’s stomach as Sasuke continued to ride him. He loved watching Naruto’s eyes widen then glaze over at the sight of him sucking on his fingers.

         “Sasuke, I’m gonna cum if you don’t stop.” Naruto took his fingers back with a light pop, a trail of saliva connecting them to Sasuke’s lips before pushing Sasuke off of him and onto his back. “And we can’t have that, can we?” He mumbled more to himself than anything before pushing himself back into Sasuke, wrapping an arm around Sasuke’s leg hoisting it upwards.

        With his other hand he caressed Sasuke’s cock, lightly fucking it into his hand in time with his thrusts. Sasuke’s hands grasped at the blankets under him, overwhelmed with Naruto’s attention. His mouth hung open, tears in the corners of his eyes at the stimulation as Naruto thrust harder and faster, his hand growing rougher around Sasuke’s girth. “Naruto-more. I’m gonna -” A gasp cut off into a low moan as Sasuke clenched hard around Naruto, waves of pleasure cutting down his spine as he spilled over Naruto’s hand on to his torso. Naruto slowed down to stroke him through his orgasm, and ease his pace. “Don’t stop” Sasuke managed to choke out.

        Naruto slammed into Sasuke again, earning him another spurt of cum and an arched back from Sasuke. 

        “I said don’t stop... please.” Nearly a sob as Sasuke felt Naruto pound into him again. Tears were streaming down his face as Naruto thrust into him with renewed vigour. His chest heaved as Naruto relentlessly fulfilled Sasuke’s wish, his entire body buzzing with sensation. Unable to lift a finger Sasuke let himself become putty under Naruto’s force, urging him on incompresenviely babbling for Naruto to keep going, harder, _ fill me more _ . 

       His pace became uneven as he toppled over the edge, filling the condom inside of Sasuke with his white heat. Crying out  _ Sasuke _ , Naruto thrust inward one last time before nearly collapsing on top of his boyfriend. Sasuke shuttered, feeling the heat inside of him. They panted together, unmoving, feeling their slick skin sticking together in a broken embrace before a chuckle vibrated against Sasuke’s chest.

       Naruto pushed himself up with a laugh, “Wow Sasuke, Merry fucking Christmas am I right?” Then pulled himself out of Sasuke while sweeping forward to kiss his lover. Getting up in search of a towel, “I have to say Sasuke, watching you touch yourself like that wearing only my necklace” He pressed his fingertips to his lips in an over dramatic kiss, “ _ Muah! _ Best Christmas present ever.” He tied off the condom to throw in the trash before returning to bed with a soft orange towel. Gentling wiping Sasuke down, “What about you, are you good?” His light smile was genuine as he focused on cleaning off Sasuke’s torso.

       “Yeah dobe, Merry Christmas.” Sasuke grabbed the towel, throwing it to the floor before wrapping his arms around the beaming man. “You’re not a shitty present either, you know.” Naruto’s smile in response was brighter than all the christmas lights in the world combined.

_       You might be the best present, maybe. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've officially caught up with the writing I have backed up for this story! My updates may become slightly irregular due to my school schedule, but I will be updating OFTEN I promise. I will do everything in my power to give you something every week :)  
> You all are the best for your wonderful comments and support <3 <3 <3


	7. Flight

     The airport was bustling with people like usual. Even for a small town the flights that came to and fro were well connected and people from all the surrounding areas gathered here to depart for their adventures.  It was absolutely the sort of place that had Naruto staring in awe every time he was there, while Sasuke scowled at every person who dared walk too close. Tickets and passports in hand they made their way to the gate. The sixteen hour flight loomed over Sasuke, a sigh weighing heavily on his shoulders and sleeping medicine in his pocket.  He remembered the last time he made the flight from Tokyo to the United States and how miserable it was. Lucky, he was more prepared this time around because Naruto seemed clueless in Sasuke’s opinion, despite Naruto’s claiming he knew what to do.

     Sasuke’s eye twitched as he watched people fumble trying to put their baggage in the overhead compartments, mumbling to himself impatiently. He couldn’t place the feeling of discomfort, dismissing it as an overall distaste for flying.  Being bunched in with so many other people shoulder to shoulder, it was unappealing to him. People falling asleep on stranger’s shoulders, sneezing in their direction, and uncovered coughs all sent shivers of disgust down Sasuke’s spine. How people could so carelessly be in such close proximity to strangers was beyond him.

     “You didn’t tell me we were first class!” Naruto’s wide smile broke Sasuke out of his cynical stream of thought.

     “Hn, I didn’t know.” Sasuke, shoved his bag under the aisle seat and motioned for Naruto to take the window spot.  It was just like his family to butter them up like this with extravagance.  _  Money,  _ Sasuke grimaced to himself,  _ at least it buys comfort.  _

     Sasuke plopped down next to his boyfriend and closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the seat.  The noise of the plane along side the hundreds of people packed inside it clouded his head. It was like every conversation around him echoed inside his skull, competing for his attention.  He tried to focus on his breathing like Itachi had taught him when he was young.

_      In, and out. Repeat. _

      Itachi. Sasuke’s eyebrows scrunched together tighter as his head started up a dull aching. Would he be there at his parents house? Sasuke pushed that train of thought away and tried breathing again.

_       In and out. _ He could feel his pulse thrumming in his chest, threatening to escape.  The plane started to roll forward as his lungs tightened. Too late to turn back now, he was caged inside a mechanical bird.  _  Ironic. _

_      In and… _ A warm hand graced his lap.

     … _ Out. _

 

     Sasuke came to, his eyes traveling up to the bright eyes of Naruto, ever watchful. “You alright?”

     “Yeah, I’m fine.” Sasuke turned away from Naruto’s intense stare. The plane took off, the structure trembling against air. The hand on his thigh clenched tighter, grounding them both until the plane reached full height.

      “Wow, I will never get used to that!” Naruto released his grip on Sasuke’s thigh once the plane had settled to a dull roar. “You’re scowling more than usual, what’s bugging you?”

      Sasuke paused before reaching to bring Naruto’s hand back to his thigh.

      “Would you two like something to drink?” A cute woman dressed in uniform held a notebook over their heads, an eyebrow delicate curved upwards at the two men. “Drinks are complimentary with your ticket tier.” A small tap from her pen on the notebook finally had Sasuke looking up.

      Sasuke ordered them both drinks cursing to himself as the woman walked away, his headache growing stronger.  Did his family really believe that the special treatment would resolved what happened? The whole thing was ridiculous.

     “You were about to say something.” Naruto shifted closer to his lover, pressing his shoulder into Sasuke’s.

     “I don’t want to talk about it.” 

     Naruto’s head fell onto Sasuke’s shoulder. “Fine, thought we weren’t gonna keep shit from each other but, okay.”

      Sasuke shoved Naruto’s head aside. “I’m just in a mood, I said I didn’t want to talk about it.”

      Naruto sat upright, then slumped against the window. His dejected look was enough to have Sasuke crawling out of his skin.  A passenger sneezed behind him, making his head throb. Stifling a groan he rubbed his temples, ignoring Naruto’s pouting against the window. 

      “Look Sasuke, I get you don’t want to talk to me about whatever is bugging you but if you really think I’m about to sit here next to you for sixteen hours and watch you grumble to yourself… You’re fucking wrong.”

      “Then don’t watch.” Sasuke continued rubbing his temples.

      Naruto huffed, his breath clouding the window. “You’re such a bastard sometimes you know.”

      Sasuke would have chuckled if his head didn’t hurt as badly as it did.  Why do people have to travel with infants? The cries from several children were not helping his anxiety.

     “So, talk to me. Bastard.”

      Sasuke pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes. “I don’t want to go home.”

      “Obviously teme. What do you think is waiting for you there?” Naruto’s voice softened.

      The waitress appeared with their drinks, eyeing them as she walked away to help the next passengers.

      “I don’t know, probably some extravagant bullshit judging from the seats we’re in.” He picked up his drink and tipped it in Naruto’s direction, “And the free drinks. This won’t be pleasant.”

      “Well, you’ll get to see your friends at least! And I’m here with you, it won’t be all bad!” Naruto resumed resting his head on Sasuke’s shoulder, the sigh that had been weighing on him eased with the pressure.

      “Hn, that’s true dobe. Hinata can be a handful herself too but, that’s the least of my worries.” Sasuke let his head fall aside into the nest of blonde locks. The smell of Naruto’s minty shampoo pushed some of his headache away. Sasuke stared out the plane window over stands of gold and tried to focus on just Naruto.  How warm he was pressed up against him, how easily his hand fell into Sasuke’s lap, and how far Naruto was constantly willing to go to ensure Sasuke was happy. Finally able to breath normally, the sun slowly drifted behind the sea of clouds as Sasuke relaxed on Naruto.

      A low moan grumbled in his chest as his eyelids fluttered open.  The sky was dark outside and his own reflection stared back at him in the dark window.  A scratchy blanket was draped across his lap, his drink moved onto Naruto’s seat tray while Sasuke’s own was stored away. The plane was silent expect the rumble of the engines and the soft wet pants on Sasuke’s neck. 

     He was far too hot to be under the blanket and went to pull it aside, but on shifting forward his throbbing erection rubbed against his pants.  _ Oh fuck.  _ Sasuke’s breath caught in his throat as Naruto’s hand slid up his thigh fingering lightly the wet spot quickly growing against cloth. Naruto’s tongue darted out teasing Sasuke’s ear lobe.

      “Fuck, Naruto you know we’re on a plane right.” His words came out strangled, eyes darting around to take in the sleeping passengers around them.

     “What’s your point?” Naruto chuckled low and velvety in his ear before giving the lobe a small nibble. “Everyone else is asleep.”

      Sasuke licked his lips turning to Naruto, engulfing him in a deep kiss.  Naruto moaned into the contact, his hand grasping at Sasuke’s length through his clothing.

      “You’ll wake everyone up,” Sasuke kissed the corner of Naruto’s lips. “Stay here for two minutes then follow me.” Sasuke detached himself from his lover’s grip and slipped away towards the bathroom.

      Naruto squirmed in his chair, picking up the rest of his drink and finishing it trying to calm down before making the walk to follow Sasuke. He knew it was difficult for Sasuke to open up about his emotions and didn’t mean to pry so hard earlier. Naruto was used to facing everything head on, and found he lacked the patience to properly handle Sasuke’s moods.  His heart sunk slightly, thinking about how it could drive the one he cares about away from him someday. He had never been in this kind of situation before, something so serious - it was frightening. Were they moving too fast? They barely left each other’s side and now they were flying to Japan together to meet Sasuke’s family. It wasn’t like Naruto did not realize that he was only there as emotional stability for Sasuke, but he found he didn’t mind being that for him.  It would had been nice to have met Sasuke’s family because he wanted to introduce him as his partner, but this was good enough… right? Shaking his head he remembered he was supposed to be keeping track of the time, and got up from his chair palms sweating.

      Two short knocks on the bathroom door and the lock snapped open, showing occupied to vacant before Naruto slipped inside and set the lock back into place. How ever calm Naruto’s body had been was instantly reversed at the sight of his boyfriend propped up on the bathroom sink, legs spread seductively, length in hand. Naruto fell back against the opposite wall in the cramped space, a groan catching in his throat.  Biting his bottom lip he took in Sasuke’s short panting breaths as he loosely fisted around his own reddened cock. Sasuke’s eyelids fluttered as he swiped a finger over his tip, letting precum stretch between the contact points and up to Sasuke’s lips. Flicking his tongue out to taste himself, Naruto lost all control holding him in place.

      “Fuck Sasuke-“ Naruto scrambled to taste what was left on Sasuke’s lips with his own. Parting Sasuke’s lips and circling his tongue, Naruto sucked the breath out from their lungs while pressing both hands behind them flat against the cold mirror. “Let me taste you.”

     Sasuke’s cheeks burned at the request, but was more than happy to shove Naruto down to be level with his aching member. A small chuckle against Sasuke as Naruto sucked at the fabric still covering Sasuke’s thigh, leaving a hot damp spot behind. Naruto’s hand crept around grasping at Sasuke’s ass pushing him close to Naruto’s face, now only inches away from his dripping tip.

      “What is it with you are just staring at me, Naruto.” An impatient glance down at Naruto hovering over his cock as paired with a shallow thrust, just enough to lightly tap Naruto’s lips with his leaking tip.

      “Not allowed to savor the moment?”

      “Not when we’re in a public restroom, no.” 

      The small laugh sent chills down Sasuke’s spine as the hot air danced against his sensitive flesh.

      “Mmkay.” Naruto’s eyes locked with Sasuke’s as he licked agonizingly slow up the entire length. Eyes struggling to stay open Sasuke tried his best to watch as Naruto’s lips surrounded his tip, tongue pressed flat against him.  _ God _ Naruto’s mouth was so hot as it slid down his length wetting the flesh. Sasuke’s head fell backwards against the mirror as Naruto consumed him. He heard a zip below him as Naruto moaned around Sasuke’s girth, taking him slowly swirling his tongue over and under his glands. Naruto’s moans vibrated around Sasuke, pushing him closer to the edge.

      A shaking hand left the counter to tangle itself into Naruto’s soft hair pulling and pushing the man to slide his hot mouth faster against Sasuke. Naruto’s jaw went slack as he reached for Sasuke’s other hand grabbing it and pulling it to join the first hand on his head.

      “Ah, Naruto!” Fingers tightened in Naruto’s hair holding him in place as Sasuke thrust roughly into Naruto. Naruto’s eyes rolled back into his head, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes with every thrust hitting the back of his throat. A strangled moan left him as Sasuke fucked into his mouth, roughly holding the sides of his head still. “Fuck I’m gonna cum Naruto, just a little more…” A low moan left Sasuke as he shot down Naruto’s throat, flushed down his chest he appreciated how Naruto lapped up all he could not manage to swallow leaving no mess behind, moaning and sighing as he did so.

      Sasuke took a deep breath, willing his heart to slow down. “What about you Naruto? Come here.” He pulled Naruto up to crash their mouths together, enjoying the taste of himself on the tongue of his lover. 

      Naruto pulled back slightly, “Don’t need to.” He smiled against Sasuke’s lips. “I do need some toilet paper though.” 

      Sasuke looked down, “Holy fuck, you came just from me fucking your mouth?”

      Naruto blushed in response, voice hoarse. “Yeah, fuck you. You were really hot.”

      Sasuke silenced the explanation with a needy kiss. “Its flattering, I’ll have to do that more often if you love it so much.” He handed Naruto a towel. “I’ll meet you back at the seat, we shouldn’t leave the bathroom together.” Sasuke stood on shaky legs, adjusted himself and placed a small kiss on Naruto’s cheek and side eyed his boyfriend. “Don’t take too long, I’ll miss you or something.” He slipped out the door.

_       Damn, Sasuke’s in a better mood, maybe I  _ should _ do that more often.  _ Naruto laughed to himself as he carefully cleaned the bathroom.

      Back in his seat it seemed only the cute attendant noticed their escapades, a fierce blush covering her face as Naruto snuck out of the bathroom. He secretly hoped she would dream of them later, a devious smile cracking his features as he finished Sasuke’s drink he had left behind. 

  
  


_____

 

      If Naruto thought the previous airport was busy, it was nothing compared to Tokyo. Never before had he felt so surrounded by bodies, but somehow everyone was not intrusive. The airport was clean and bright, and Naruto was grateful it was still morning so he didn’t feel like slipping off into sleep just yet. His jet lag was already creeping in unfortunately.

      “Sasuke-kun!” A short woman barreled her way towards the pair, lunging herself into Sasuke’s arms. Her head tucked under Sasuke’s chin, and he wearily patted her back before she untangled herself laughing.

       “Stiff as ever huh, Sasuke-kun. Ah you must be Naruto-kun! It’s so good to meet you!” Her english was barely accented taking Naruto by surprise.

      “Hi, you must be Hinata.” Naruto scratched the back of his head, unsure how to handle her bubbly demeanor. “It’s, uh, good to meet you too!”

      Hinata playfully hit Naruto’s shoulder and beckoned them to follow her out of the airport. A sleek black car waited for them, the driver getting out to open the back door for the group. Naruto choked back a response at the luxury, and slid into the back seat after Hinata and Sasuke.

     Sasuke and Hinata chatted quietly in english, then eventually switched to Japanese when they noticed Naruto was not paying attention to the conversation.  Too busy staring out the window at the expansive city of Tokyo, he felt both excited and overwhelmed by the mass amount of activity. Sure, Naruto had traveled before to Mexico with Shikamaru for spring break one year, and some other places in the United States, but nothing was ever as expansive as Tokyo.  The streets seemed to wind on forever, the lights illuminating almost every corner. He was almost grateful when they turned a corner and the streets cleared out a little. The landscape was turning more suburban, but Naruto could see signs of poverty lurking around wherever he looked. Spotting someone dozing off in a building’s alcove settled a weariness in Naruto’s heart.  He could too easily picture Sasuke in that person’s place. Sasuke’s story was still so fresh in Naruto’s memory, he started to understand a little of the pressure Sasuke must be feeling returning back here.

      Turning to catch his gaze, Sasuke glared back at Naruto’s sympathetic look. Turning his head away from Naruto he continued talking to Hinata, his back stiff. 

      Gazing out the window, Naruto wondered how they were going to make it through the next few days.

______

 

      Hinata’s home was, well, massive.  It wasn’t just that her home was huge it was the entire complex of houses that it rested within.  She had explained that the complex was very old, and was one of the last remaining historical villages left in the city.  The Hyuga clan was old and powerful, and owned many businesses. Hinata was to inherit the clan’s work but had chosen to hand the role down to her younger, more capable sister.  She promised to help out where she could but the free-spirited girl had trouble staying motivated enough to manage several businesses and clan duties.

      The traditional home sprawled over a decent sized area of green gardened land, Naruto recognized Hinata’s home from one of Sasuke’s drawings kept in his black box. The realization that Sasuke had not mentioned that it was Hinata’s home before but instead brought Naruto here had his head spinning.  Maybe, he was better at showing Naruto what he meant instead of talking about it. What a headache. His thoughts bounced together while walking through the manicured lawns, stifling a yawn behind his hand.

      “Naruto-kun, I can show you to your room if you would like to rest. A long flight is no joke and you won’t miss anything tonight of any importance.” Hinata delicately smiled up at the blonde while helping him with his baggage up the entry stairs.

      “Yeah, I think that… that might be best.” The yawn escaped as Hinata led the way to a space bedroom. “Sasuke, wanna join me?” Naruto sleepily wiggled his eyebrows at his partner.

      “No, dobe I’m gonna stay up and wait for Hinata’s family to arrive.  It’s been years. I’ll introduce you to them tomorrow.”

      Naruto’s shoulders sagged at the idea of going to sleep without Sasuke, but resigned to his sleeping mat sliding the door closed behind him.

      “So, you two are pretty attached, huh.”

      Sasuke’s jaw clenched. “Yeah.”

      “How long have you been dating then?” Hinata sat on the living room floor, pouring them each a glass of water on the low table in front of her.

      “Since earlier this month.”

      “What? And you’ve dragged him all the way to Japan? To meet your family!? Are you crazy Sasuke, what are you thinking?” She slammed the pitcher down.

     Sasuke remained silent, glaring off to the side.

      “You family is gonna eat that poor boy up and spit him out.” Hinata’s eyes bore into Sasuke.

      “Look, first off, Naruto can handle himself.  He’s… tough. Second, I think my family is trying to apologize to me.”

      Hinata stiffened, “Apologize? After everything they did? Sasuke I know you were once really close to your family but that doesn’t change how they treated you when you needed their love and support.  I will never forget how you were before you left for university, Sasuke. They didn’t see that, they didn’t  _ bother _ to see that! They didn’t care how you were and now they’re sorry!?” Her hands shook as she held her glass. “I don’t mean to get so worked up Sasuke, I just worry about why they asked you here, and you dragged that sweet boy into this mess when you’ve only been together for a  _ month _ !”

      “Sweet? Hinata, please calm down.  Like I said, Naruto is tough. I think, maybe stronger than I’ll ever be.  If anything he’s here because I’m weak and well, he’s…” Sasuke trailed off,  “I know that we haven’t been together long but do you ever just know when something is right?”

      They both blushed at Sasuke’s admission. Sasuke took a drink of his water, eyeing his friend.

     “It looks like you know what I mean. Naruto isn’t going to let me down, and I’m going to do my best to repay him for that.  Maybe I’ll be able to do this right and not fuck it up, god knows he deserves it.”

       Her eyes widened at Sasuke’s speech, never before had she heard her friend speak about anyone else this highly, or at all for that matter. “You know you’re right.” Hinata looked down at her glass.

      “About what?”

      “Knowing what you mean, when something is just right.” The girl blushed, refusing to look up at Sasuke. “You remember Kiba?”

      “Why the fuck are you bringing up that asshole, Hinata.” Sasuke’s voice grew icy. “He better not be giving you any trouble.”

      “No, no, you’ve got it all wrong Sasuke.” Hinata waved her hands in front of her face. “He’s not running with that crew anymore, I promise.”

      Sasuke leaned back scanning her features for any untruth, finding none, “Really? He get his stupid face tattoos fixed yet?”

      Hinata chuckled, “No, plus I like them… They’re cool you know?”

       “They’re gang tattoos, they’re not cool.” His eyes narrowed at his friend’s naivety. 

       “I know, I know… I swear though, he hasn’t been around your old gang for years, he actually left right after you moved.  Said he didn’t want anything to do with them once you weren’t there. Something about his job watching over you was done, so he left.”

      “Job, watching over me? You have to be kidding me, right?” Sasuke’s expression was unamused.

      “You know him, always trying to play big brother to everyone. You were no exception.  He was really happy you got out, you know. He said it was a big relief. Either way I asked him to make sure none of the guys found out you were in town, he still has eyes on the inside even if he’s not involved anymore.”

      Sasuke released some of the tension in his shoulders as he took in Hinata’s words. Kiba really was looking out for him, wasn’t he?  Out of everyone in the gang he was always the most tolerable, Sasuke just hoped for Hinata’s sake he really was done with all their activities.  It really was just like Hinata to go after someone like Kiba,  _ I’m sure her family is thrilled _ . She could have any eligible bachelor in Japan being from the Hyuga clan, and instead hooks up with a street rat.  _ Typical. _

       Sighing to himself, he felt the mood in the room lighten. “Hey Hinata, I’m going to go rest. I’ll say hello to your family in the morning. Tell Kiba hi from me tonight when you sneak over there.” He threw a small smirk her way before retiring to the guest room, chuckling to himself at the sight of his blushing friend.

      Rolling out the other mat next to a snoring Naruto, Sasuke wondered to himself what home really was.  At one point, he had called this house his home even if that time was brief. His family’s house had been his home for a long time but now his heart only ached when he thought of the dinners they shared there.  His apartment was barely a home, but more of a studio filled with mad obsession on canvas. Wasn’t home supposed to be somewhere you felt at peace? A place to rest, and feel safe? Curling up and pressing his face against Naruto’s bare shoulder, Sasuke quickly dozed off feeling warm, comforted, and at peace. 

  
  



	8. Festival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I started finals at school, and my schedule is absolutely crazy! I will do my very best to update weekly still, but for the next three weeks I will be swamped with my studies. Thank you for following my work and I hope you love this extra fluffy chapter to make up for the late update ;)

     The sun filled the guest room with clear white light, dust filtered through the soft cream curtains as Naruto rolled over with a soft groan. Curling in on himself before stretching out across the mats one eye slowly peeked open.  He would never get over the sight of Sasuke in the morning, his features softened without the his usual scowl wrinkling his forehead. His bangs tossed around his features sticking to his skin in gentle waves. Even in an unfamiliar house Naruto never felt displaced waking up next to his lover, slow and easy still muffled by sleep.  Brushing Sasuke’s hair from his face the man swatted his hand away grumbling in his sleep, turning over away from Naruto.

     “Sas, it’s already 11 we should probably get up.”

      Another muttered, “Fuck off.” made Naruto chuckle. There was never any heat behind Sasuke’s swears when directed at him. Climbing over Sasuke’s sleeping form he pressed his scarred cheek to his boyfriend’s face.

      “Come on teme, I wanna explore! Pleaaaase?” He let his full weight drop over Sasuke’s sleeping body with a dramatic huff.

      “Fine, food first.” A hand snaked its way around Naruto’s waist to pull him closer, “We have all day.”

      “But, it’s New Years Eve! I’m sure there’s parties, right?” Naruto nuzzled closer to Sasuke, taking in his faint minty smell. A denser undertone smell filled his head reminding him of the woods in spring.  The ground melted from lost frost, melting them together daily. The scent was addictive and Naruto couldn’t imagine not smelling it clinging to his clothing any longer, it was so ingrained already. 

      “Not really, New years is more of a family holiday here.  I’m not saying we don’t have plans though.” Rolling over onto his back Sasuke smirked at the blonde on top of him. “We’ll be busy until the evening, then we have to deal with my family you know.”

      A cloud passed in front of the sun dimming the light flitting through the curtains.

      Naruto kissed Sasuke’s cheek, “You mentioned food?” and rolled out of the blankets with a laugh, his stomach growling.

      Hinata’s parents were the first to greet the two as they sat down in the dining room, saying they had already began preparations for brunch and making them wait to be served, despite Naruto’s attempts at offering to help.

      The Hyuga family were quiet people, moving like a well tuned machine as they stepped around each other preparing the meal.  Hinata’s mother was asking Naruto questions about life in the United States, which he was more than happy to go into immense detail about while waving his hands around enthusiastically.  Her small smile grew bigger and more fond the more questions were answered. She gave Sasuke several approving looks to which he rolled his eyes in response, arms crossed. Hinata’s father chopped vegetables with his daughter, standing side by side in comfortable silence letting the conversations roll by them with ease.  Soon piles of colorful food in white dishes were placed in front of the two guests, the family joining them.

      It was warm, Naruto understood completely in this moment why Sasuke took refuge with the Hyugas.  He could finally understand why he left them too. They were pure, in a strange sense. Getting a firmer grasp on Sasuke’s internal struggle with guilt and shame would only make it clearer why he felt so long ago he could not rely on such kind people when he fell on to a bad path.  Some inflated sense of morality wouldn’t let him infect the people he held precious to him, regardless of if the Hyuga would have healed his aching spirit in a heartbeat, asking for nothing in return. Naruto watched as the each family member teased Sasuke, asking him what he had been doing since he abandoned them so mercilessly, followed by soft laughter easing his uncomfortable expression. They listened attentively as Sasuke described his paintings and gallery events to them.  

      They loved him, and would never stop trying to watch over him.  They let him know this as they each ate their food, staring Sasuke down intensely letting him know they truly meant it when they say this is his home too. 

      “You are always welcome here as well, Naruto.” Hinata’s mother had a look of honesty in her eyes, “You brought him back to us, thank you.”

     “I didn’t.. He brought  _ me _ here!” He could feel his face heating up regardless of how hard he fought it.

      “Yes we know, but we also know he would have never came back if you didn’t come with him. Thank you.” She took her last bite of food looking down with a content smile. “I’m going to clean up, thank you for joining us for this meal. You are welcome to anywhere on the compound, including our fridge.” She winked at Sasuke before leaving for the kitchen.

      Hinata was uncomfortably shifting in her seat as her father questioned where she had gone so late at night, a small bit of humor dancing in his eyes contrasting his stern expression.  Naruto and Sasuke took this as their cue to leave and get ready for the day. They escaped from the table to the guest room forcing back giggles at Hinata’s flustered look at being caught sneaking out to see Kiba so late last night.

      Naruto rolled up their mats and folded blankets while Sasuke removed several clothing bags from the closet laying them out carefully.

      Piece by piece Sasuke pulled black, grey and red silk out from the bags, Naruto watching his every move with his eyes widening.

      “Sasuke, how did you get all this stuff?” He scooted closer to finger the fabric.

      “These kimono belong in my family, see they all have our crest.” He pointed to the small fan patterns stitched into the fabric meticulously. “I left them with Hinata so they would be safe. They’re a bit formal for where we are going, I hope you don’t mind” He sent Naruto a coy look,  “Take off your clothes and stand here.” He gripped Naruto’s shoulders moving him to the center of the room, slowly lifting the edge of his shirt over his head. Sasuke carefully undressed Naruto, letting his fingers slip against bare skin lightly before folding the clothing and setting them to the side. 

      The silk was heavy in his arms as he admired the lean form of his lover, taking time to drink in every curve as if he was memorizing for the next time brush touched canvas (He probably was). He helped Naruto step into the thick dark grey hakama and cinched the trousers at the waist. Slipping his arms through the under kimono, white and soft to the touch Sasuke plaecd the formal montsuki kimono, heavier and black with small fans stitched into the sleeves over Naruto’s form. He wrapped him in the layers, his hands gracefully tying the thin cotton koshi himo to hold the fabric in place before securing the wave patterned obi belt around Naruto’s waist.  Stepping back Sasuke’s eyes danced from head to toe nodding slightly, a hand on his chin before straightening the collar to perfection. Picking the dove grey haori to slip on over the outfit he thumbed the small red fan on the back of the jacket, smiling to himself. Anyone who saw Naruto today would know just who’s he was, the thought surged forward primally threatening to take over before he surrounded Naruto with the thick woven wool. After tying the hoari closed with a complicated knot, he had Naruto sit to adorn his feet with the traditional tobi socks, caressing them as he did.

      Naruto’s breath caught at the sight of Sasuke knelt before him, touching him so lovingly.  If any one else had just dressed him up like a doll he would have been embarrassed, but something about the way Sasuke preened over him set his heart on fire. Maybe he just still wasn’t used to the way Sasuke looked at him like he was something desirable, something breathtaking. He looked at him like he wanted to own him, to seal his soul inside his own. Sasuke planted a small kiss on the bare skin above Naruto’s ankle before standing up to dress himself.  Naruto stayed sitting in awe at his lover, at the graceful way in which he moved. How his hands so carefully moved the fabric over his shoulders, tying each piece of his black and red attire with ease.  _ Like a cat, slinking around everywhere  _ Naruto unconsciously thought to himself.

      He grabbed the imitation straw sandals and his wallet, slipping the later into the sleeve in his black haori, crested with an Uchiha fan on each shoulder and the nape of the neck. He reached a hand out to Naruto a small smirk resting on his lips, “Stop gawking, let's go dumbass.” 

 

______

 

      The streets were overflowing with locals, music playing overhead.  Naruto’s amazement continued to grow, his smile fighting its way to split his face in two with every fox mask he saw.  The dove grey haori protected him against the late December chill, and the afternoon sun warmed his face as his wide eyes took in the spectacle.  Children darted between legs, screaming in joy with candy in their hands and ribbons trailing behind them. Lanterns in preparation for the evening were hung on the stands with long poles. The energy of celebration thrummed through the people like a pulse.

      Stands held a wide array of food shining with bright signs and colored flags waving in the breeze. The Oji Inari-Jinja Shrine stood at the top of many stairs at the end of the street, shining like a crimson beacon in the warm light.  But, the real fun was the people.

      Naruto could help laughing with every costumed fox person that passed them, and there were so many! A sea of painted faces, wild fur lined like manes, people even wore tails racing through the streets playing like animals.  Drummers played with the music while several dancers entertained the festival goers. 

      Sasuke didn’t let go of Naruto’s hand. He kept telling himself it was so he wouldn’t lose Naruto in the crowd, but really  _ he just didn’t want to let go. _ So, he found himself getting dragged by the hand from stand to stand helping Naruto win trinkets at the games, convincing him that winning a goldfish was a terrible idea, and eating far too many fried foods.

      Even if it had not been tradition for Sasuke to visit the Oji Kitsune-no-gyoretsu on New Year’s Eve, he would have taken Naruto anyway.  He had never been able to do something like this for someone before. Itachi would take him when he was young, and even with the events that happened between the brothers, the memory of wearing fox masks with the person he loved so much was not tainted.  It seemed fitting that he would take the one he loves the most now, right?

      Not that he was willing to admit that he loves Naruto. That’s a whole slew of feelings that might, or might not be  _ completely _ overwhelming.  He pushed the thoughts away in favor of keeping a watchful eye on his energetic partner. Naruto was already making friends with the children, showing them how to play with a toy that Sasuke had earlier won.  They yelled in excitement over the new game before dragging Naruto by the sleeves to the stand of masks. The poor man had no clue what the adorable Japanese children were saying to him, but tried to keep up regardless as they shoved mask after mask at him.

      “They want you to try the masks on for them.” Sasuke nudged Naruto in the ribs, urging him to put them on. Naruto face lit up thanking Sasuke before putting on each mask and doing his own impression of a fox for the kids.  They squealed in delight and clapped their hands before handing him another mask, then another, then another… Making Naruto play the fox for them before the shopkeeper shooed the children away for loitering. Naruto followed the kids to wave goodbye as they hugged his legs and ran off. Sasuke bought two masks.

      “I can see why you want to work with kids.” Sasuke handed Naruto the mask.

      Naruto took it and put it on top of his head thanking Sasuke warmly for the gift, “Why do you say that?”

      Sasuke huffed, “Well, they kind of flock to you.” He started walking up the steps to the temple, slipping his own fox mask in place. “You don’t even speak the same language here and they still trust you.”

      Naruto slipped his hand back into Sasuke’s, “It’s always been that way for me, it’s why I went into children psychology.  Plus, I just don’t want any kids to have to go through what I did if I can help it.”

      If Sasuke’s heart kept swelling like this, soon it wouldn’t fit into his chest anymore. Giving his partner’s hand a squeeze he pulled Naruto through the temple doors.

      The environment inside was quiet but bustling with people. Everyone shifted around each other to get a chance to kneel at the large shrine at the end of the temple’s room, respectfully waiting until each person was done with their prayers. Sasuke slipped the mask off his face and on top of his head while watching the other visitors come for their hatsumode. He turned to Naruto to explain the importance of the first visit to the temple of the year and how Itachi would bring him here to pay respects to the temple.

       Naruto listened closely to Sasuke recalling his memory, feeling his own heart warm as he watched his lover speak fondly of his family in front of him for the first time.  Maybe this journey wasn’t completely hopeless.

       “Ok, but why all the foxes? Not that i’m complaining, they’re my favorite actually!” His hand squeezed Sasuke’s his eyes not missing the way Sasuke shook his head to remove the memories flooding him.

       “There’s an old legend saying that every year on New Year’s Eve, foxes gather from all over Japan under a large tree, disguised in human costumes to visit this shrine,” His voice was low directly in Naruto’s ear. “We honor this tale by visiting here and dressing in costume to welcome the fox spirits.” They moved forward, it was their time to kneel at the shrine. “Because of this, the fox spirits bless us for the year, so ask for something you want and it will be given to you.”

       Naruto lightly chuckled at the concept, “I don’t believe in wishes Sasuke.” regardless he knelt at the shrine next to Sasuke, watching him light an incense and close his eyes as if in meditation. Turning his face to the shrine he too closed his eyes, letting the sticky sweet smoke of the incense wave over him. The collective whispers of the occupants filled his head as a dull murmur, blocking out any internal thoughts other than one wish. _ If he could stay by my side forever, that would be good. Is that ok, foxes? That’s what I’d wish for. _

      Sasuke tapped him on the shoulder snapping him out of his daze. Pulling Naruto to his feet he smiled softly to Naruto, his fingers brushing the side of Naruto’s cheek. They walked together out of the shrine, the sun setting directly in front of them, bathing the scene below in peach light. Specks of bright orange appeared across the festival stands as the lanterns were lit, one by one. Naruto saw a group of children lighting sparklers and running through the rows of lanterns as Sasuke led him down the temple stairs. They wandered through the stands, basking in the warmth of the local people.  Everyone was accepting of their presence there, occasionally an older man would give Sasuke a small respectful bow after spotting his crest born clothing, murmuring an “Uchiha-san”. Naruto eyed those that did so wearily, but kept his questions to himself. They shared a drink served in fox decorated glasses, sitting under strings of lanterns through the trees surrounding the festival. Sitting hand in hand content simply watching the kids run and play with sparklers and their parents gossiping over their alcohol.

       A text from Itachi buzzed on Sasuke’s phone asking where to pick them up.  _ Fucker didn’t even let me know he was going to be here.  _ Sasuke scowled to himself looking up at the sun dipping below the horizon.  The azure light bathed the streets making the orange lanterns blaze as bright as Sasuke’s irritation.  They had been at the festival for hours, but it wasn’t long enough. 

       He shot back a text with their location and let Naruto know that Itachi was coming to get them. Naruto’s eyes widened in surprise before slumping against Sasuke in defeat.

       “Do we really have to leave?” He pouted into Sasuke’s shoulder, pressing his cheek into the sharp bone. “I don’t want today to end.” He said with a sigh his eyes drifting to the trees above them.

       “Hn,” Sasuke looked over the crowd letting Naruto’s head rest on his shoulder for a moment before pulling him forward to the street exit. “No choice.” 

       The small black car waiting for them purred gently over the noise of the festival at their backs.  Itachi slid out of the driver’s seat, opening the door for the two apprehensive men. The dark interior of the car loomed before them as Sasuke dropped Naruto’s hand to slip into the front seat, leaving Naruto to sit in the back of the car. 

       No music played from the speakers as Itachi settled in behind the drivers wheel. “Hello Sasuke, Naruto. I hope you enjoyed yourself today.” He briefly looked at the two each in turn with a polite smile. “I would have loved to join you today, Sasuke, but fate seems to be against us despite our traditions.”

       Sasuke turned away from his brother to look out the window. The cast of his reflection on the glass showed Naruto how strained Sasuke was feeling. His brows were knitted together, a shine of sweat slowly forming on his forehead.

       “Sasuke, I want to discuss something before we arrive at the manor.” Itachi smoothly rounded a corner making their way through the city. He paused waiting for a response but was met with silence. He sighed, then carried on.

       “You know how deceptive our father can be.” He glanced at Sasuke to see if he was paying attention. “It is not an excuse for my past behavior, nor am I placing the blame of my actions on someone besides myself. But, otouto…” Itachi trailed off, gripping the steering wheel slightly tighter.  The change in his posture would be lost to anyone but his little brother.

       “I had no idea.”

 

       Sasuke snapped his head around to glare at Itachi, his frown turning into a tight scowl. “What do you mean, Itachi.”

       “Father, he left me completely in the dark.  He completely overwhelmed me with an intense workload, the long hours I put in at the office were his orders. When I questioned him about your whereabouts he informed me that you were with the Hyuga clan, then proceeded to give me another assignment.  He gave me a false number for you, and after the first few attempts at contacting you were unsuccessful, I gave up. I assumed your temper had turned you against me.” He pulled the car up a long drive to an enormous house, putting the car in park he turned completely to Sasuke.

       “I did not know what you were going through, and was kept from you by our father’s hand.  It is my fault for giving up on trying to reach to you, for that, I apologize.” Itachi turned away from Sasuke, his hand on the car door handle. “I don’t plan on letting that happen again.”

       He opened the door and strode to the house, leaving a stunned Naruto and Sasuke in the car.

       “Sasuke, you ok?” Naruto’s small voice came from the back seat, his hand creeping up to rest on Sasuke’s shoulder. A small amount of tension released from Sasuke’s shoulders at the contact.

       “We should go inside.” Sasuke flung open the car door to follow his brother, his expression blank. Naruto followed behind him, watching the two brothers standing before the tall black doors. Itachi stepped aside for Sasuke to take front and center.  He raised his hand to knock against the cold wood when the latch clicked open letting the door slowly open, Sasuke’s fist still hovering in the air.

       “Welcome home, Sasuke.” His mother’s shining eyes were all Sasuke could see in that moment.

  
  



	9. Fugaku and Mikoto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being so patient! I'm almost done with finals which means regular update are back <3 I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
> tw - mild domestic abuse

     Sasuke’s mother, Mikoto, smiled warmly at the guests, “Welcome home Sasuke.” She turned to look at Naruto, “And who are you?” 

     Sasuke nudged Naruto in the ribcage, “Introduce yourself.” Sasuke’s mother stepped aside for all of them to enter into the Uchiha manor.

      Naruto smiled widely at the small woman, “Hi! I’m Naruto, thank you for inviting me to your home!” He scratched the back of his head nervously as he introduced himself.

      The entryway to the Uchiha manor was massive with a high domed ceiling.  From the front door you could see two separate indoor balconies with a grand staircase leading up to the second floor. The walls were grey and the decorations monochromatic with small pops of red littered throughout the modern atmosphere.  As the group walked through the entryway you could hear their footsteps echo off of the walls and bounce through the domed ceiling. It felt too big to Naruto.

     They were ushered into a dining room with a large oak table in the center, a vase of orange lilies served as a simple centerpiece. Sasuke eyed the flowers before sitting at the table, Naruto sat next to him. Mikoto went to check on the dinner preparations and Itachi went in search of their father. Naruto and Sasuke sat alone.

     A hand found Sasuke’s knee, “You okay?” Naruto’s voice was small, but still echoed off the walls. Everything in this house felt so bare, even the orange lilies seemed to taunt them with their bright colors against the empty grey of the house. “You remember what Itachi said, If it gets bad we can leave. Plus, I’ll kick anyone's ass for you! Your dad’s nothin’ but a back office bean counter - I can take him!” Naruto squeezed Sasuke’s knee and gave him a wide reassuring smile.

     Sasuke opened his mouth to respond, but loud footsteps interrupted his thoughts.  His father, Fugaku, sat smoothly at the head of the table, Itachi by his side. He looked at Sasuke seriously for a moment, then gave him a warm smile. “Welcome home, son.”

     Sasuke looked away to the wall opposite his father, “Thanks.”

     Fugaku’s smile faded when he looked at Naruto, “And who might you be.”

     “I’m Naruto!” He looked from Fugaku to Sasuke, then back, “I’m Sasuke’s boyfriend, it’s a pleasure to meet-“

     A chef wearing an all black uniform entered the room at that moment and placed an Osechi Ryori box on the table for the family. Lifting the cover the food inside was revealed, colorful and smelling divine.  Datemaki, Chikuzenni, Kamaboko, and so many other traditional foods were piled inside. Mikoto entered with another person in black uniform bringing the wine to share between everyone, and sat down with a smile. The food was divided between all of the people at the table, and wine filled their glasses.

     Fugaku cleared his throat, “Boyfriend?” His eyes narrowed at Sasuke. Mikoto dropped her chopsticks on to her plate.

     “Yes.” Sasuke did not slow his eating and looked completely unfazed. Bored, even.

     Mikoto’s eyes widened, “Sasuke, what does that mean?”

     “Means we’re dating.” He waved his chopsticks in Naruto’s direction nonchalantly. “I’m gay.”

     The silence at the table felt deafening, no one dared move but for Sasuke, who was pretending nothing unusual was happening at all.

     Itachi was first to break the tension, “I’m happy to hear so, you both look as if you are doing well.”

     “This is unacceptable!” Fugaku spoke louder than Itachi, demanding to be heard. “You are to carry on the Uchiha bloodline!”

     “Won’t happen.” Sasuke pushed some rice around on his plate.

     Mikoto hushed them both, covering over the conversation with comments on the food and requesting everyone continue eating. She fussed over everyone’s wine, flitting about like a bird. Fugaku was clearly still seething, but bit his tongue in favor of thanking his wife for refilling his glass. 

     “So…Mrs. Uchiha, did you get to peek at Sasuke’s work lately? His new paintings are so beautiful, everyone keeps saying so!” Naruto tried breaking the ice his voice growing in confidence by the end of the sentence. 

     “Ah, yes actually. A correspondent brought Sasuke’s latest collection to our attention. Apparently he was at your gallery event and recognized Sasuke’s name on the title cards, though he did not get a chance to meet Sasuke there.”

     “Wait, who?” Sasuke looked interested for the first time during the meal.

     Mikoto waved her hand dismissing her son with a small laugh, “Oh, no one you would know! Your paintings truly were exquisite though, well done.” She smiled at Sasuke while his father grunted in agreement.

     Sasuke felt the tips of his ears heat up and quickly looked back down at his now empty plate. He had not heard praise from his parents regarding his art since… well since that birthday when his Father found out about Sasuke and Mikoto’s outings. Since then, everything that was considered to be feminine, including art, was a topic to be locked away. Naruto’s hand squeezed his thigh again under the table.

     “See, not bad right?” He whispered into Sasuke’s ear once the rest of the family was distracted talking about business and other small talk. The conversation passed around Sasuke and Naruto as the rest of the family finished their food.  People came to collect the plates away from the table and bring out more wine. Naruto’s eyes widened at the treatment, he couldn’t imagine growing up in this way.

     Fugaku put his wine glass back on to the table with a sigh, turning to Sasuke and Naruto, “So, care explaining this  _ relationship _ then, son?” It was Itachi who then glared at their father.

     “There’s nothing to explain,  _ father.  _ It works the same as any other relationship. Naruto cares about me enough to travel all the way here and deal with your insufferable presence.”

     “ _ Sasuke! _ ” His mother chastised him, gasping at his rude behavior. Naruto could see a vein popping out of Fugaku’s forehead. It would be comical if the situation wasn’t so serious.

     “This… this scarred up  _ American _ cares about you? What could he possibly offer you that a woman can not!” 

     Naruto’s lips set into a straight line.

     “Father, please drop the subject. Sasuke’s sexuality is not important as long as he is happy.” Itachi’s voice came sharp and dangerous.

     Fugaku reared on Itachi, “Son, between your health, and your brothers  _ choices,”  _ The old man was practically spitting at this point, _ “ _ The Uchiha bloodline is finished!”

     “Fugaku…” Sasuke’s mother was close to tears.

     “ _ Woman, let me speak!! _ ” He slammed his hand on the table. Mikoto visibly flinched away.

     Sasuke stood from the table, chair scraping against the floor loudly,  _ “STOP!”  _  He flattened his hands on the table, staring his father down with an icy glare. “Why am I here?”

     His father took a deep breath, the room still. A moment slipped by before he responded,

     “Itachi is dying, Sasuke”. 

     Sasuke’s knees hit the back of his chair, and he sat back down. “What?” Everything in his brain stuttered to a halt.  _ No. _

     “It is true. The doctors say I will not make it much longer. The stomach cancer is spreading rapidly.” Itachi explained like he was reading from a boring textbook, his voice flat. “Sasuke, help Father with our business.”

     Fugaku spoke up, “You will take over all of Itachi’s responsibilities after his death. We expect you to marry a woman of the family’s choosing and bring your family prosperity and longevity.”

     Sasuke sat stunned. Naruto was looking from Sasuke, to Fugaku, to Itachi, Mikoto, and back to Sasuke all in a loop, his mouth hanging open.

     Slowly, Sasuke stood from the chair without looking up and left the room. No one tried to stop him.

     “I’m…..I’m gonna go see if he’s okay.” Naruto practically ran out of the room after Sasuke.

  
  


     Naruto barreled out into the entryway, looking in every direction for Sasuke. He spotted him already a floor up crossing the balcony and rushed to follow him. His pursuit lead him to the top floor of the Uchiha manor, and to an open window that hung over a long section of the roof. Climbing through the window he found Sasuke curled in on himself, his head resting on his knees overlooking the neighborhood below.

     “Hey…” Naruto dropped down beside Sasuke on the cold tiles. “You alright?” Sasuke shuttered slightly and pressed his body against Naruto. 

     “No.”

     Naruto waited for Sasuke to continue, and after a few steading breaths he did.

     “We used to crawl up here together every New Year’s eve and watch the sunrise over the new year.” Sasuke’s voice was soft. “It doesn’t feel real. Naruto, just… why couldn’t they invite me here because they miss me.” His voice cracked, broken. “They just want to use me, like always.”

     “Oh, Sasuke…” Naruto circled his arms around Sasuke, pressing Sasuke’s face into his chest. He could feel Sasuke’s breath hitch and his shoulders begin to shake.

      “Why is this so hard-“ Sasuke shook, “And Itachi…” his words muffled into Naruto’s clothing. “He only wants me here because he’s sick, he’s dying Naruto. What do I do?” Hie words broke through his small sobs.

      Naruto ran his hand down Sasuke’s back, comforting him. “Look, you don’t need that acceptance from your family anymore. I know it’s not the same but you have me, and your friends. And, you don’t need to do anything your family is saying. We can just go home, ok?” Sasuke’s hands clung to the back of Naruto’s haori.

     “I know I don’t need it! I was fine before all of this happened. I just,  _ I want it _ , ok. I want to know what to do…”

      “We’ll go home Sasuke, to our life and forget about all of this. They can’t force you to take over the company, they can’t dictate your life like that! I won’t let them!” Naruto had taken Sasuke by the shoulders and was staring at him very seriously. Sasuke looked down.

      “Yes…. yes they can, Naruto.”

      “No! Sasuke, you…. You can’t give in like that! I…. _ I love you! _ ” Naruto froze in place, before crumpling. “I mean, god damn it. I’m sorry, I really do but that’s not the point. I won’t let them take you away from me.” His voice dropped to nearly a whisper by the end of his sentence. Sasuke stared back blankly at Naruto.

     A shuffle came from the window, “Sasuke, our parents have retired to their room. Let’s go.” Itachi really meant  _ the coast is clear.  _

     Sasuke tried hiding his tear streaked face from his brother, but the damp spot on the front of Naruto’s clothing was enough to show what had been happening. They made their way through the quiet house, Sasuke trying to hide what sniffling he had left after such a rare emotional collapse.

     They exited the Uchiha manor, the large door closing behind them with a low thud.

     “Itachi…” Sasuke turned to his brother, gathering courage. “Why did you stop talking to me.”

     Itachi sighed then sat down on the doorstep, motioning for his brother to follow suit. 

     “I was diagnosed six years ago with stomach cancer. It’s been a long battle, and I did not share what was happening with the family until last month. I isolated myself unless I was at work, and threw all my remaining energy into managing our business. I personally did not feel as if I could bring you back here, it was safer for you to not be involved. Father’s inner dealings were beginning to take a less than favorable turn, and the relationship between Mother and Father was becoming more strained.” Itachi rested his elbows on his knees, he looked as if the words he said were draining his remaining energy.

     “Mother was distraught,  between my health and Father’s abuse she has been suffering at home… nothing here is good. I have kept Mother protected the best I could, but she is just as stubborn as you and I are. She refuses to leave Father, even if his choices become more crude both at work and at home. Even if she does choose to leave, you know how that will end.” He turned to Sasuke, his eyes full of grief.

     “Until my health fails, I can handle it as I have been. I have been attempting to guide the company in a positive direction as well as keep Mother safe and I have had much success. But, I admit I intentionally did not contact you and I isolated you from this because I wished to spare you from the madness consuming this family. I could not let you come near all of this when you had the possibility to escape of your own free will. I only bring you here now and involve you with the weight of my burden because I am dying.”

     The winter breeze swept Sasuke’s hair in front of his face, he had refused to look at Itachi the entire time he spoke. “You really are dying then?”

     “Yes.”

     “You know keeping me away from the family and not telling me what was happening was selfish. I had a right to know what was going on.”

      “I know this now, and I regret my actions.”

      Sasuke sighed into his hands, digesting what Itachi had told him. “We need to get Mother out of here, don’t we.” He sounded close to tears again.

     “Yes.”

     Both brothers looked out into the dark night. Itachi stood, extending a hand down to help Sasuke up, “But, not tonight. I have a plan in motion so please, for now go back to the United States and graduate school. Make beautiful paintings, be happy with Naruto. I will call for you when it is time for you to return.”

     Itachi placed a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder giving him a warm, knowing smile. “Let’s get you home.”

______

 

     The trip back home was not eventful, Hinata and her family had given them a warm farewell.  After a long plane ride and a ride from Juugo, Sasuke finally found himself back in his cramped apartment.  It felt like a totally different world back surrounded by his canvases and paints.

     Naruto and Sasuke did not discuss anything that was said at the Uchiha manor. They both seemed to share the feeling that it was best left in the past for now. Sasuke found himself unusually clingy to Naruto though, almost seeming afraid to lose contact with the blonde. He convinced him to stay at Sasuke’s for the evening and return home in the morning instead.

     Sasuke needed grounding, picking up his pad of newsprint and charcoal he started shading in his room on paper. Anything to remember where he was in this moment and feel like it was actually real. He started with the layout of the room, and start scratching in furniture loosely shading in the values of the dim apartment before him. Always, always, pausing when he went to draw Naruto into whatever scene he was sketching. Right now, he was slung on the futon, already dozing off, his mouth hanging open. Jetlagged from the flight, Naruto had barely managed to take his shoes off before being swaddled in a blanket by Sasuke on the futon while Sasuke pulled his art supplies out.

     Sasuke turned to a new page and sat down in front of the futon, laying the pad on the ground. It was his favorite activity, drawing Naruto while he was asleep. It was almost embarrassing the collection of sketches he had already created of Naruto with that near angelic expression he would get while dreaming. Sasuke loved the way Naruto’s soft hair would stick up from his head where it had been pressed against the pillow, how he slept with his lips slightly parted like they were asking to be kissed. The way the light would dip over the scars on his cheeks, how his eyelashes feathered over onto his cheeks. He was perfect and Naruto would never understand just how fond Sasuke was of him. Naruto would never understand how crazy it drove Sasuke to try to capture just how perfect Naruto was on paper and canvas. The drawings of course, were beautiful. But, Sasuke swore they were imperfect and no where near capturing just how vibrant and captivating Naruto was in real life.

     Setting the pad back on his drafting table, he put his tin of charcoal away and walked to the kitchen to wash his hands of the charcoal. Something as simple as letting soap scrub the burnt willow from his fingertips soothed the ache he had in his chest since hearing of Itachi’s condition. He hated thinking about it, he finally had his brother back in his life… but for how long? He shook his head of the thoughts and rinsed the soap off of his hands under the warm water.

     A pair of strong, tan hands circled around his waist. “Come to bed Sasuke, I’m tired.” Naruto pressed his head against Sasuke’s shoulder, his voice gravely with sleep. “Your drawings look good, you know I don’t look that nice in real life though.” He chuckled against Sasuke’s back pressing his body closer, rubbing his face against him.

     Sasuke turned around to face his lover. “You’re right, you look miserable in real life. I have to lie through my teeth to draw you that well.” His words were teasing, and followed by a soft kiss to Naruto’s pink lips.

     “Ahh, good to have you back to normal.” Naruto laughed into the kiss, his hands grasping at Sasuke’s hips. “Maybe I should never leave so you always have me to pick on.” He nipped at Sasuke’s earlobe, still laughing. He pressed his hips against Sasuke’s teasing  him in his own way.

     Sasuke hummed appreciatively at the contact. “Mm, that would be ideal, wouldn’t it? Grinding back at his lover he wove his fingers through Naruto’s hair. “Plus how could I could paint such lovely things if my model leaves me alone?” His voice was breathly as he lowered his hands to grasp at Naruto’s rear.

     “ _ Fuck Sasuke,  _ bed. Now.” Naruto disengaged himself from his boyfriend’s embrace just to grab his hand and drag him to the bedroom. He pulled Sasuke inside the room flinging him down on to the bed, kicking the door closed behind them. “God, I’ve wanted to undress you for so long.” Naruto said through his smile. “It was torture watching you constantly with the Hyuuga’s around, never getting to really lay my hands on you.” He already had his hands under Sasuke’s shirt, teasing his nipples while he spoke into his ear. “I swear, you just looking as good as you do every day sets me on fire.” He ground his hips down with a groan leaving Sasuke breathless under him. 

     Sasuke’s lips were parted, his breath already coming in short gasps at Naruto’s physical onslaught of affection. He could feel his face flushing at the compliments and heat pool in his stomach at the thought of everything his lover wanted to do to him.

     “Mmm, but that there-” Naruto brushed his hand across Sasuke’s cheek, “That’s the expression that burns me alive.” Naruto pulled Sasuke’s shirt off over his head and began working on undressing the man fully, letting his fingers linger over bare skin, brushing everywhere he knew Sasuke was sensitive.  Naruto enjoyed how deeply Sasuke flushed at the compliments.

     “Naruto -  _ ah!”  _ Sasuke gasped as Naruto thumbed the tip of his heavy arousal, letting his thumb slide over a small bead of precum formed there already. Grasping Sasuke’s girth with his fingers he gave him a gentle tug, to which he was rewarded with a sigh of relief and pleasure.

      Sasuke pulled Naruto down into a heated kiss, stealing his tongue from inside his mouth with his own, moaning down Naruto’s throat. He stripped the man over him of his clothing, his eyes widening like he had never seen Naruto naked before - it was always a treat no matter how many times he got to see him. “Naruto..” His voice was shaky with need, “I want you so badly.”

      Naruto gave him a predatory smile, like something clicked in that hot moment of need. “I got you…” He reached into the bedside table and grabbed the bottle hidden there and a condom. Popping the bottle open he coated his fingers with the lube and without warning pressed a digit deep inside of Sasuke. He hovered over Sasuke, who was clinging to him forcefully. “Is that what you wanted?”

      Sasuke buried his face in Naruto’s shoulder, a choked moan threatening to escape as Naruto slid his index finger slowly out, then back in. 

      “I asked if that’s what you wanted, Sasuke.” He slipped a second finger in.

      “God,  _ no…”  _ Sasuke bit down on Naruto’s shoulder, “ _ more. _ ” He licked up Naruto’s neck.

      “Fuck, you’re gonna kill me.” Naruto shuttered at Sasuke’s pleading for more, gladly slipping a third finger inside his lover. He could feel the man clenching around him eagerly as he brushed up against Sasuke’s sweet spot. Releasing his grip on Naruto, Sasuke let himself fall back on to the bed, he threw his head back while his hips twitched in response to Naruto’s movements. He felt so exposed to Naruto, and found he didn’t mind one bit if his whole soul was laid bare in front of the other man.

     “Come on Sasuke, you gonna cum already?” Naruto teased Sasuke, curling his fingers inside him more aggressively. He lifted Sasuke’s leg with his other hand to gain a better view. His boyfriend already looked so wrecked just from Naruto’s fingers. Naruto’s neglected cock twitched at the sight of Sasuke practically fucking himself on Naruto’s fingers. 

      Sasuke shook his head at the question, his eyes glazed over. “No I need you for that.” He thrust his hips down on Naruto’s fingers as if to accentuate the point.

      With a wicked smile, Naruto withdrew his fingers, liking how Sasuke whimpered at the loss. He reached for the condom and started to unwrap it.

     “No.” Sasuke was looking at him with a serious but embarrassed expression. “I… I want to feel you.” He turned his head away.

     Naruto stared at Sasuke a few moments longer, assessing if he really meant what he said.  _ Of course he did, Sasuke never does anything he doesn’t want to… _ and tossed the package aside.

     Naruto lined himself up with Sasuke’s entrance, and fuck, he was so hot against Naruto’s tip. He had to bite his lip hard to not come right away after the lack of contact. He slowly pushed his way inside of Sasuke, the breath knocked out of him at how tight and hot he felt. It was like he was being sucked into everything that was Sasuke, and given all the moans and whimpers he could want in return.

     “Come on  _ Naruto _ , you gonna cum already?” Sasuke taunted Naruto, using his own words against him. It would have been more effective if Sasuke’s voice itself wasn't so overwhelmed with pleasure.  

      “Ugh- Fuck… fuck off Sasuke, you feel too good.” He shallowly thrust into Sasuke, feeling how Sasuke’s body responded to acutely to his own. Another thrust or two and Naruto felt himself gaining some control back over how overwhelming Sasuke felt against his bare sensitive skin. 

     He pushed into Sasuke, who wrapped his legs around him practically mewling at each thrust. Sasuke hid nothing from Naruto, letting his voice carry through the room as he dug his nails into Naruto’s back. He could never get over how right it felt to have Naruto with him, touching him, kissing him, inside of him.

      Naruto reached his arms around Sasuke, lifting him up off the bed holding Sasuke to his chest. He set a brutal pace pounding directly up inside of Sasuke, using the man’s weight to drop into how intense each thrust was becoming. Sasuke’s cock rubbed against Naruto’s stomach as he balanced on Naruto’s length, leaking onto his bare abs with each direct hit to his prostate. 

       Bending forward, Sasuke collapsed onto Naruto’s shoulder fully trusting Naruto to keep him upright as he let wave after wave of pleasure overtake him.  He let himself get lost in Naruto. His thoughts finally drifted away completely as he let himself get consumed by the man sliding in and out of him. He felt so light with Naruto’s large hands circling around his ribs holding him up.

      “Sasuke, I’m so close..” He could feel Naruto’s pace quicken and let himself go, close himself. He could feel Naruto’s hips stutter, slamming up into Sasuke’s heat and the realization that Naruto was cumming inside of Sasuke set him over the edge. 

      “Fuck-  _ Naruto! _ ” His back arched as he came all over both of their chests, his body clenching hard around Naruto’s length. Each clinch brought a wave of heat as Naruto spilled into Sasuke’s body, moaning Sasuke’s name as he orgasmed. 

      Naruto held Sasuke to himself tightly for a while, trying to catch his breath. Sasuke placed his head back on to Naruto’s shoulder, enjoying the moments before Naruto would have to pull out and clean up.

     “Do you really love me?” He whispered into Naruto’s neck.

     Naruto squeezed him tighter. “Yeah, I really do.”

  
  



	10. Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive! :)

     His forehead felt like sticking to the wooden desk under him as Naruto groaned to himself in silent desperation. It was only three weeks into the semester and he was exhausted, overworked, and just drained.  The professor talked about Socrates as if Naruto didn’t read all of his works by the time he was in the tenth grade. He was a Junior in college, in a high level philosophy course, and they were talking about  _ Socrates.   _ Naruto rolled his head on the table from one side to the other, enjoying the pressure of the cold wood against his skull.  

      The chill of the desk was the only relief he was finding recently.  Between his heavy school load, work, and Sasuke’s mood swings, he was getting no rest.  He would never say that his relationship wasn’t prosperous, just like he would never say that his classes weren’t useful,  but he just couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that something was off. He sighed into the desk as his professors words transformed into a steady drone, sifting through one ear and out the other. 

      He kept thinking about everything that happened to them in Japan.  Naruto learned quickly not to bring it up or Sasuke would bite his head off and storm away. Sure, Sasuke and Naruto were spending nearly every moment together since they got back to the United States, but it was like walking on eggshells sometimes.  Naruto assumed it was just because Sasuke was still processing everything that his parents had told him, but he wanted to help him out with that so badly. Sasuke wasn’t letting him.

     The only good thing that came out of it is with Sasuke’s moods being so off-kilter, was Sasuke taking out his frustrations on Naruto physically.  He was pretty much clamoring constantly for Naruto to have sex with him, so Naruto couldn’t complain too much about the whole ordeal. It just seemed unfair that Sasuke was even more sexual when he was upset rather than wanting to fool around because he cared about Naruto.

      He sighed louder and sat up rubbing the back of his head while staring at the ceiling. Not noticing that the teacher had called on him, a girl giggled in the row behind him. Snapping his attention forward, Naruto saw everyone staring at him. He tuned in to the professor asking if he needed to be excused. Naruto had no idea he was sighing so loudly, maybe he should just leave.

      He excused himself to the bathroom, grabbing his backpack and grumbling through the classroom. He shook off the feeling of dozens of eyes following him out the door and walked to the men’s restroom with his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

       It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen everything! Naruto knew what Sasuke had been through to an extent and what his life was like before coming here, but it didn’t stop the frustrations that Sasuke wasn’t opening up to him now. He knew more than any of his friends, more about how he felt than his own family.  Naruto couldn’t stop being frustrated wanting to know everything though. He wasn’t invited to see Sasuke’s friends, he didn’t know what Sasuke was painting, and he didn’t know how Itachi was doing even though he knew the brothers were in contact. Why wouldn’t Sasuke just… talk to him?

       He slammed the bathroom door behind him and stalked over to the sink, glaring at the white porcelain. He splashed his face with cold water a few times, and tried to steady his racing heart. Gripping the edge of the sink he took a few deep breaths; Naruto wasn’t used to being so close to someone and have them not be open with him.  The only other person he had felt this close to was Gaara, and they had shared  _ everything.  _

      “Think of the positives, think of the positives…” Naruto mumbled to himself like a mantra. There was no used in getting so angry about his situation, Sasuke just needed time to process and settle.  To decide what he was going to do. A small voice in the back of his head spoke up  _ He’ll leave you to take care of his family and never come back. _

      He splashed his face again, “Think of the positives…”

      Sex, yeah… that was a big positive. The way Naruto and Sasuke were connected physically to each other was mind blowing. God damn, Sasuke was sexy, Naruto was baffled constantly at how lucky he had gotten to have such a beautiful man so willing for him. Naruto had slept with people before but nothing had ever been like this. It was so intense and raw.  Naruto cherished the moments they were naked pressed against each other because those were some of the only moments that Sasuke was completely exposed to him. In the privacy of their rooms Sasuke would open up physically and emotionally, and let himself go to Naruto.

      Naruto locked the bathroom stall behind him, his back pressed against the wall. That morning he had been woken up to Sasuke’s kisses, smothering his cheeks and lips with delicate wet softness. Before the morning light had even hit Naruto’s closed eyelids the blankets had been tugged down around his knees while the kisses trailed down his exposed flesh.

_       Fuck,  _ Naruto was getting hard in the middle of a campus bathroom. He groaned to himself resting his head against the wall behind him.  _ Well, I can’t go back to class like this. _ He shrugged before unzipping his pants, acutely aware of any noises around him. Taking himself out of his pants and pumping himself to full hardness he let out a breath he wasn’t aware of holding.

     Shuttering Naruto knew this wouldn’t take long, not with how vivid he was imagining Sasuke crawling towards him on his hands and knees with that small smirk Sasuke would get before devouring Naruto. Not with how he kept seeing Sasuke’s toned, perfect arms splattered with paint as he touched Naruto like he was precious.  Naruto’s throat clenched shut as he dripped into his hand, already feeling heat pool in his gut.

      He tried his best to keep his breath even in case anyone entered the bathroom as he remembered how last night Sasuke had ripped the xbox controller from his hands to toss it across the room before climbing on top of Naruto. He had his shirt clenched in his teeth to muffle any noises he might make as he attempted to aim into the toilet with his palm pressed against the bathroom wall. It felt like hours last night that Sasuke had rode him on the living room futon, too eager to have Naruto inside him to move to the bed.

       He couldn’t hold back a low moan as Naruto slipped over the edge and came into the toilet bowl. He jerked himself through his orgasm then pressed his forehead against his palm on the wall. After a few steading breaths he cleaned up the best he could and only felt a little guilty tucking himself back into his pants. He grabbed his backpack and washed his hands, thanking his luck that no one tried using the restroom while he was there.

       Plus, he wasn’t frustrated anymore.

 

_______

 

      Sasuke walked home from studio with a dried painting tucked under his arm.  His scarf was carefully in place to fight against the late January wind, his skin protested against the winter air.  His nose and lips constantly were chapped and his hands freezing, Sasuke wasn’t built for the cold.  _ At least Naruto is warm. _ Sasuke smirked behind his scarf.

      A text from Suigetsu buzzed in his pocket, interrupting his daydreams about golden locks and warm kisses. The wind whipped around him as he responded a positive answer to Suigetsu’s invitation to come see him and Karin that evening.  He hadn’t been over since the end of last semester and owed it to them to be a little more present. Following up with a text saying,  _ I refuse to drink tonight _ , he shoved his phone back into his pocket and walked up the apartment stairs.  He knew with Suigetsu and Karin he needed to set boundaries before coming over and was trying to be more thoughtful of how Naruto would feel if Sasuke came home drunk.  He knew the fact that Naruto had not had the chance to get to know his friends better was a touchy subject, and he didn’t want to add the to tension by coming home intoxicated. If Sasuke was being honest with himself, he simply wasn’t ready for Naruto to really meet Karin and Suigetsu after the last time Sasuke had seen them  _ And fucked them both.  _ What if Suigetsu said something about it and hurt Naruto? Sasuke couldn’t allow that to happen.

      He slipped inside the apartment grateful that the snow had held off so there hadn’t been any more power outages.  The apartment was warm and inviting as he took his shoes off by the door and set the canvas on the drafting table. Sasuke could hear Naruto’s snores ripping through the apartment from the bedroom.  He laughed to himself and busied himself making tea.

      Sasuke loved that over the last few weeks Naruto had taken to staying at his apartment. He said it was because Shikamaru had a new girlfriend and they were particularly noisy, but Sasuke guessed that he would have ended up in Sasuke’s bed either way. Traces of Naruto filled his small apartment now, the drawer dedicated to Naruto’s clothing at the bottom of Sasuke’s dresser, a violently orange, fluffy blanket thrown over the futon, a mug from Naruto to replace the chipped one Sasuke so often used (that he refused to throw away). The apartment was becoming a home instead of just a room to fester his madness.

      Sitting down at his laptop, he noticed a new email from Itachi waited for him. The brothers had taken to emailing each other on a consistent basis to speak about their situation.  Sasuke appreciated the contact, even if each email was like sticking a knife into an already festering wound. Itachi’s health seemed to be holding up well, and it seemed as if the cancer was in remission. It was difficult to judge these things. It always seemed that one week it would be in remission, then the next the doctors would declare it worse.  So, Itachi would over work himself when the doctors gave him good news, then end up crashing bedridden for a rest of the week.

      It was torment, and weighed on Sasuke constantly.  Feeling so much grief at the situation while not being the one with cancer filled him with guilt.  He tried everything to make the situation about Itachi and not himself, but how was he supposed to deal with the fact he might lose his brother after  _ just _ gaining him back? 

      He slammed the laptop shut with his mouth set into a straight line. He had no room to complain, so he wouldn’t.  He stewed at the injustice of it as he took the kettle off of the stove top and poured boiling water over his tea. He watched the tea leaves swirl gently in the water for a moment before going to wake his boyfriend up.

      Flipping on the light in his bedroom he smirked at how Naruto grumbled in his sleep then draped an arm over his eyes.

     “Naruto, wake up. I’m hungry.”

     Naruto had stopped moving again, deep asleep. Sasuke sighed through his small smile and crawled into the bed on top of Naruto. He leaned down to pull the arm off Naruto’s face and kiss his perfect, scarred cheek.

      He mumbled into Naruto’s cheek “I finished a painting and wanted to show you.” He kissed the cheek again intentionally pressing uncomfortably hard against Naruto’s face to wake him up.

     Naruto cracked one eye open, “Huh?”

      “I’m hungry and want to brag about my work.”

      Naruto chuckled at Sasuke’s bratty response. He enjoyed every sloppy kiss to his cheeks before circling his arms around Sasuke sleepily. “When do you  _ not _ want to brag about your work?” 

      Sasuke pushed off of Naruto with an annoyed huff. “Shut up.” He practically threw himself off the bed dramatically leaving Naruto’s arms behind grasping at air. “Get up, I need food.”

      “You can get my cum if you’re so hungry, babe.” Naruto put his arms behind his head winking at Sasuke. Naruto earned himself an exaggerated eye roll when he thrust his hips off the bed presenting himself.

      “With your diet, I doubt it’s very nutritious.” Sasuke turned his back to Naruto dismissing his boyfriends flirtations with a wave of the hand. He walked back into the kitchen to retrieve his tea that was done seeping, Naruto slowly following behind rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

     Entering the living room Naruto paused at the drafting table. He stood with his eyes fixated at the beautiful painting resting unceremoniously on the worn down wood. He barely was aware of the sound of Sasuke pulling a pot out of the cabinet and filling it with water as he admired the breathtaking piece in front of him.

     It was of Naruto as always, but different this time than before as Naruto was facing away from the viewer. The colors were so warm, unlike the usual cool tones Sasuke was known for. Specks of golden light seemed to shine off the canvas from the red lanterns strung through the background. It was from the festival they attended. Naruto sat on a ledge with his mask on top of his head as he watched children playing.  Two small cups sat on the ledge beside him as if Sasuke was the one taking the photo behind him. Naruto knew Sasuke had not left his side to take the image, and must have drawn it from memory making it that much more mesmerizing. So, this is what Sasuke had spent the last three weeks slaving over. Naruto felt so much guilt wash over him for being upset that Sasuke had not shown him before what he was working on. The pay off to see the finished product in front of him was so immense and the painting was so special, it was worth the wait.

      Naruto felt tears welling up in his eyes the longer he stared at all the fine detail brushed onto the canvas. It took everything in him to not brush his fingers across the surface of the painting.  He felt as if he were to touch it he could fall back into that perfect time and place. With a great amount of strength he turned away from the painting and quickly made is way to where Sasuke was in the kitchen. Naruto wrapped his arms around the man pressing his tear full eyes against the back of Sasuke’s shirt. He tried his best to not interrupt Sasuke’s cooking, but simply couldn’t keep away from him after seeing the beautiful work Sasuke had produced.

      “It’s beautiful Sasuke, you really outdid yourself.” He mumbled into Sasuke’s back.

      Sasuke poured the finished pasta into a strainer and shook the water out of it. “It’s nothing.”

      Naruto disengaged himself from his boyfriend, “Don’t say it’s nothing, please. It might be my favorite painting of yours to date.” Naruto said so with a broad smile while he watched Sasuke add the sauce to their food.

       Sasuke handed Naruto a bowl when the food was finished, choosing to not respond to Naruto’s praise. They sat together in silence on the futon and ate their food. 

      “I’m going to Suigetsu’s tonight in a bit. I won’t be out late.”

      Naruto paused eating for a moment, then resumed. “Ok.” He pushed his pasta around his bowl with a sullen expression.

      “You sure that’s ok? You look like I just told you we were putting a puppy down.” Sasuke raised his eyebrow, putting his fork to the side.

       “Yeah…” Naruto pouted to the side, “It’s fine. Go be with your buddies,  _ that I’ll never meet”  _ He said the last part quickly.

       “Dumbass, you’ve meet them. You even have Suigetsu’s number remember?” The thought chilled Sasuke. “You’ll come with me soon, I just want to catch up with them alone tonight.” 

      Naruto managed to finish the last bites of his food before pushing his bowl away from him on the coffee table. “Whatever you say, Sasuke.” He stood from the futon, “I’m going back to sleep, I’m wiped from todays classes. Wake me up when you get home or something.”

      Sasuke watched Naruto leave for the bedroom and shut the door behind him. He wasn’t sure if he imagined the lock clicking on the bedroom door or not. Sasuke sighed into his hand staring at the closed door.  _  And, Naruto says I’m the moody one. _

 

_ ______ _

 

      Sasuke knocked at the door to his friends house and pulled his scarf down away from his face. Moments later, Karin swung open the door. When their eyes met there was a momentary flash of anxiety before being replaced with a warm smile and an invitation to come inside. Sasuke slipped his shoes off before plopping down on the couch in the living room.  Karin dismissed herself to find Suigetsu and left Sasuke to scroll on his phone.

      Naruto had made him join a social media site, and as much as he hated it Sasuke couldn’t deny it was the perfect way to waste time. That flash of anxiety Karin had given him set Sasuke on edge. Maybe she too was worried he would bring Naruto over. It could be possible that she felt embarrassed about what had happened as well, that was unlikely.  Peering up from his phone he momentarily wished Naruto was there just to ease how odd he felt, before spying exactly why he was glad Naruto was at home.

       A small mirror rested out in the open with lines of fluffy white cocaine on top of it. Suigetsu was a dumbass, leaving things like that out in the open. Sasuke shook his head and returned to his phone fighting the temptation to knock the substance off the table before the hosts came back into the room.  

      The couch bounced beside him as Karin joined him, grabbing the remote from the table and turning the channel to an old movie. Suigetsu dropped into the chair next to the couch and immediately reached for the mirror while saying, “Hello” to Sasuke. Sasuke rolled his eyes in response. 

      He checked his phone again, a bit annoyed that Naruto hadn’t texted him like he usually would. Hopefully it was just because the man was asleep, and not because he was upset with Sasuke for leaving without him.  He felt uneasy after letting Naruto walk away before, but Sasuke wasn’t one to chase after anyone if they seemed to want their space. Suigetsu offered him the mirror to which Sasuke glared at him, put off by the idea. Suigetsu should know better, they had been best friends for four years and Sasuke had never touched anything harder than weed and booze.

     He tuned into Karin telling him that she had cleaned up and was sober now, to which Sasuke sincerely congratulated her. “It’s about time.” He said with a small laugh enjoying how the girl flushed angrily at his dismissive attitude.  She knew that Sasuke meant it though, and was proud of her.

      Suigetsu popped abruptly back into the conversation, “So how’s Naruto? Still painting him?”

      “He’s good, just tired from classes, and yes… Of course.”

       “And how was Japan?” Suigetsu smiled at Sasuke, knowing full well that his question was a loaded one.

       Sasuke sunk back into the couch and stared absently at the television. “It was fine.”

      “Sounds like it wasn’t.” Suigetsu was as perceptive as ever.

      Glaring at his best friend he relented, “Fine, it was horrible for the most part.  Seeing Hinata was good, and we went to a festival that was nice. Just, you know…”

       Karin gave him a sympathetic smile, “Family drama?”

       “Yeah.” Sasuke rubbed his temples. “That’s putting it lightly. Itachi has cancer.”

       The room was silent other than the television in the background. 

       “Damn dude. Is that why he hasn’t been talking to you?” Suigetsu’s voice was soft, he was trying to be supportive without upsetting Sasuke further. 

       “That’s part of it, I guess he also wanted me away from the family because my father has gotten out of control.” He went on to explain his situation concerning his mother and father, as well as Itachi’s health status.  It was the first time since he arrived back in the country that he was really speaking about everything that he had been through. He knew as wild as these two could be, he could trust them with his life. They had been there for Sasuke since he arrived in town.

       Through the years Suigetsu, Karin, and Juugo had been Sasuke’s source of annoyance and his everlasting rock.  The team of friends shared everything with each other, their food, homes, and secrets. Other than Naruto, there was no one Sasuke felt he could trust more.

      So, he found himself leaning on Karin’s shoulder as she rubbed circles into his back. Suigetsu not moving or interrupting as Sasuke spilled everything that had happened on the trip. 

     “In the end, Itachi told me eventually we’ll need to get mother out of the house before she’s harmed any more. On top of it all, I’m expected to drop everything here once I graduate.  Father wants me to go back to Tokyo and take over Itachi’s role in the company. So not only did my sexual orientation not go over well with him, my life style overall did not either. It’s like I can never do anything right in his eyes.”

      Suigetsu finally spoke up, “Why does he seriously care that you’re gay? Seems petty.”

       “He wants me to break things off with Naruto, get married to a woman and have a child so the Uchiha bloodline doesn’t end.  Itachi isn’t well enough to be a father any more so now it’s up to me, I guess.”

        The room stilled at what Sasuke said. Suigetsu stopped halfway while reaching to the mirror on the table before putting his hand back into his lap.

       “Sasuke, I think we need to talk.” Karin removed her hand from Sasuke’s back and looked down at her lap.

       “Karin’s pregnant.” Suigetsu half spoke over Karin.

       “Oi, dumbass, you have no tact!” Karin slapped Suigetsu on the back of the head.

       Sasuke stared at the two of them with wide eyes, “Well, congratulations you two.” A feeling of excitement at his two friends being lucky enough to have a child and the feeling of anxiety about how they were behaving about the situation swirled in his stomach unpleasantly.

       Suigetsu rubbed the back of his head glaring daggers at his girlfriend. Karin cleared her throat softly, “Sasuke…” She took a deep breath, “It might be yours.”

       Sasuke’s heart fell, “What, how?” Everything around him felt fake, like he was watching what was happening from above his body.

       “Suigetsu and I are always really careful and use protection. We’ve been together for five years now and the only time we haven’t…” She trailed off.

       “I don’t think we did that night, either of us.” Suigetsu pointed back and forth between himself and Sasuke.

       Sasuke gripped the couch under him to keep his mind from completely detaching. Trying to control his breath he thought to himself  _ a 50% chance…  _

       “Hand me that.” Without looking up Sasuke pointed to the mirror on the table.

  
  



	11. Pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life has been, well... a disaster lately. But i'm here with the update! Thanks for being patient <3  
> I am switching to monthly updates until further notice. I'm fueled by comments and love getting to know you all! 
> 
> TW: consensual Somnophillia (well, as consensual as it can be)

     Not bothered by the chill wind whipping around his face, Sasuke walked home in the dark. The scarf typically piled up around his throat and nose dangled loosely around his chest. A voice in the back of his mind wondered what was waiting for him when he got back to the apartment, would Naruto be awake still waiting for him? He found it was too difficult to stay focused on any one thought to care as much as he probably should.

      Opening the door to the apartment and kicking off his shoes, Sasuke rubbed his hands together to warm them. His heart twinged at the sight of the orange fluffy blanket draped over the futon. He shook his head to clear the rush of guilt and locked himself in the bathroom. 

      A haunting sight looked back at him in the mirror. His eyes were blacker than the night outside, they looked sunken. Between the stress of his family, the news from earlier that night, and - Sasuke shuddered - succumbing to addiction again, he looked ten years older. He splashed his face with water and brushed his teeth. He had made it four years. Four  _ fucking _ years, only to slip up now. He spat into the sink supporting himself, hands clenching the porcelain. Scowling into the still running sink, Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut cursing himself. A deep breath and a final glance into the mirror, he turned off the bathroom light and braced himself.

      Soft yellow light spilled into the hallway from the small crack of the open bedroom door. Only the sound of the floor fan disturbed the peace, Naruto liked to sleep with it on even in the dead of winter. The room felt warm with Naruto laying on his back under soft blue blankets, breathing steadily in his sleep. 

      It slammed into his heart, and Sasuke fell against the doorway. He was utterly, completely in love with the man sleeping in his bed. The way the light spilled against Naruto’s soft blonde locks, the smell of coffee beans seeped into his skin, his strong hands that were so gentle when they touched his own. Sasuke never before in his life smiled so much as he did when he was around Naruto, even his laugh became a regular visitor. Shining in the dim room, light spilled into his life - all because of Naruto. He couldn’t, he wouldn’t, lose him.

      Pacing over to the bed he gently slipped under the covers, trying his hardest to not disturb his sleeping lover. The heat radiating off of Naruto was always intoxicating to Sasuke, it pulled him in like an embrace. He circled his arms around Naruto, cradling himself into his lover’s side. He couldn’t stop the small hum from rumbling in his chest as Naruto’s presence enveloped him. He couldn’t stop a hand from roaming under Naruto’s shirt and feeling the hot, soft skin underneath. He couldn’t stop from slipping that hand lower, inch by inch testing for any reactions. 

      The smell of Naruto’s skin washed over him as he kissed Naruto’s shoulder. Steady breaths never broke as Sasuke slowly crept down his boyfriends torso, littering it with small kisses the whole way. Slowly, carefully he pushed Naruto’s sleep pants down. Ever watchful eyes stayed trained on Naruto’s face, enjoying how lips parted in a small unknowing gasp as skin was revealed. Licking his lips Sasuke kissed the tip of Naruto’s quickly forming erection, his body reacting naturally in his sleep to the attention. 

      A small lick up the head of Naruto’s cock to see if there was any kind of response and he was pleased when he saw muscles clench at the contact. Feeling bolder, Sasuke took the head into his mouth, swirling tongue around the sensitive flesh.  _ God-  _ Naruto was so hard for him already, it filled him with a burning, desperate need. He sat up on the bed stripping himself of his clothing delicately as to not move the mattress too much, then grabbed the lube from the bedside table. He made quick work of fingering himself open, leaning over Naruto careful not to disturb him. He fought with himself to hold back his moans, never taking his eyes off of the beautiful face below him. 

      Taking his lover in hand Sasuke guided himself to perfectly align with his wet hole. He was sure at this point if he worked himself down slowly, Naruto wouldn’t wake up right away. It was thrilling, tantalizing, the way Naruto moaned in his sleep when their bodies connected. Correct in his assumption, through the moans and labored breathing, Naruto never opened his eyes.  _ Perfect,  _ he slid his body down with a strangled groan. Fully sitting on hip, Sasuke gently leaned forward, resting his hands on the chest below him. Even now Naruto’s chest flushed a light pink, adding a glow to his tanned flesh. 

      He started gently, relishing in the hard slide pressing against his inner walls wondering if Naruto was dreaming about him. His fingers curled on Naruto’s chest, bunching his soft t-shirt fabric under his grip as he slid Naruto in and out of him slowly. Every time Naruto’s hips bucked up on their own accord a spurt of pre-cum would dribble down on to Naruto’s stomach, smothering the toned abs with slick fluid. Every time Naruto would moan softly in his slumber, Sasuke would get  _ that much _ closer to reaching orgasm.

      Naruto’s hips slammed up into Sasuke, taking him by surprise at the force, “ _ Ah-Naruto! _ ” He slipped.

      “Sas-Sasuke?” Naruto’s eyes peeked open, instantly flushing a deep red at the sight and sensation. “Ah! Fuck Sasuke… What the fuck?  _ Mm _ \- You could have just woken me up, teme.” He drew himself out of sleep panting through his sentence. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes quickly then grabbed Sasuke hips, hard enough to bruise, and slammed him down on his cock. “You’re so -  _ ha _ \- reckless, Sasuke. So  _ needy.”  _ Naruto slammed him down again, enjoying the cry of pleasure he got from his partner, “What will it take to satisfy you, huh?” His grip tightened harder, roughly fucking up into Sasuke’s tight hole. Any traces of sleep converted into lust.

      Sasuke was barely able to keep himself upright at the force of Naruto’s thrusts. Hardly keeping himself upright, the heat in his gut pooled and pressed outward. With a small choked cry of, “Don’t stop!” He came in thick ropes across Naruto’s torso. 

      Relentless, Naruto abided by Sasuke’s wishes and didn’t stop. Sasuke fell forward collapsing onto Naruto’s chest, his face pressed into collarbone. His cum stuck gooey to his bare skin, sliding with every rough thrust Naruto pumped into him. He whimpered, buried his face, and squeezed his eyes tightly shut. High pitched and grating, his ears started to ring. The sound deafening the clap of skin hitting skin through the room as his fingernails dug into Naruto’s shoulders.

      How could he have done this with anyone but Naruto? He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, as if that would keep the tears from prickling the corners of his eyes.  He knew that what happened with Karin and Suigetsu was before he and Naruto fully connected, but now - He let out a choked cry as Naruto grasped at his skin, driving as deep in to him as he could - The consequences were so great for such a stupid mistake. It could take away the one thing, the one person he never wanted to lose. And,  _ “Oh god, Naruto…”  _ He whimpered out, he couldn’t lose him.

       Naruto was all there was keeping him together, but it was like fate was against them. Sasuke’s breath shuttered, he felt his lover’s pace grow uneven and heard a distant moan in his ear. “ _ Sa-suke!” _   His family would rip them apart, this baby would rip them apart. Sasuke breath came in quick gulps as Naruto slowed down, cum sliding around his softening cock inside of Sasuke. “ _ Ah, baby you’re so fucking sexy, you know that? You do so good for me,”  _ Naruto’s words sounded far away. “ _ I love you so much, Sasuke.” _

      A sob choked out shaking Sasuke’s whole body.  _ Fuck. _ He didn’t want this night to end out this way.

      “Sasuke?” Naruto froze, hands still clutching hip bone. Feeling Sasuke shaking on top of him he peeled Sasuke’s body off of his and cradled his face. “You okay - holy shit, Sasuke! Are you crying? Did I go too far?” Naruto fussed over his boyfriend. “What’s going on, did I hurt you?”

      With his face scrunching up Sasuke shook his head, refusing to look Naruto in the eyes.

      “Then what’s wrong?” Naruto’s voice was gentle.

      His throat constricted, “I fucked up, Naruto.” He could barely speak around the lump in his throat. He struggled to stop the tears from falling down his face. Naruto waited for him to continue, a patient but guarded look on his face.

      “I got high with Suigetsu.” Sasuke looked down, the words barely a whisper.

      Naruto let out a relieved laugh, “Is that all? We get stoned together all the time, dummy.” He wiped a tear away with his thumb.

      “It wasn’t weed.” The thumb paused in the middle of Sasuke’s face.

      “What do you mean?” A hesitant response.

      Sasuke turned his head back away from Naruto’s hands, “I did some coke.” his head snapped back to face Naruto, “not very much but…” eye downcast again.

     Naruto froze again under him, “Why would you do that?” the question rang through the room, falling heavily between the two entangled men. Sasuke did not respond, still as a droplet rolled off and hit Naruto’s shirt. “Wait.” Naruto’s eyes widened, “Did you only fuck me because you’re high?” He slid unceremoniously out of Sasuke.

     Bolting upright, “No!” Shaking his head Sasuke affirmed again, “No.”

     Naruto flopped back against the pillow with a small sigh of relief, his eyes still guarded as he watched Sasuke straddling him. “Has this happened before?” 

      “No, this is the first time.” Sasuke crawled off of Naruto, curling into a ball with his back pressed against the bedroom wall.

      Naruto sat up, scooping his lover into his arms. When he spoke his voice was gentle and comforting, “Sasuke, you can’t keep doing this to us.” His arms circled Sasuke, soothing his shaking.

     “I just said this is the first time this has happened.” He mumbled back.

      “No, no, not the drugs thing. The sex thing.” He sighed, resting his head against Sasuke’s. “You come to me desperate and clawing to be physical, when it’s obvious you don’t want  _ me _ , you want relief from whatever is happening up there.” He tapped Sasuke’s temple.

_       Have I really been doing that? _ Sasuke startled himself with the realization.

      “Look, you don’t talk to me at all, then you use me as a means to get off. Then you close up again. It’s unfair to me, and to you too in the long run.”

      Sasuke had fully stopped shaking by this point, looking up at Naruto with wide eyes, “I’m not trying to do that to you.”

      “Yeah well,” Naruto sighed, wrapping his arms even tighter around the other, “That almost makes it worse. If you were intentionally pushing me away this would be much easier, I would just leave. But, instead we gotta sit here and figure out what the fuck to do.” Silence fell on them, the rattling of the fan the only buffer to relieve the tension in the room.

     “Sasuke, I think you need to see a professional.”

      “No.” Sasuke response was immediate and harsh. He pushed out of Naruto’s arms, “No way.” He sat on the opposite end of the bed, a scowl on his face.

      “Well, I can’t be your therapist even if I’m training to be one. It’s gonna mess me up, mess  _ us _ up. For fucks sake Sasuke, I still have a year of school left. If you need coffee, I can help with that however.” He gave Sasuke a weak smile and a thumbs up, trying to lighten the mood. Sasuke remained looking at the wall instead of his partner.

      “I don’t need professional help.”

      “I’d even go with you, though.” Naruto shrugged.

     Sasuke slumped slightly, “Maybe.”

     Naruto eyed Sasuke, content that he even considered it. “So, what else is bothering you?”

     Sasuke’s mind reeled for a moment. There was no way he could tell Naruto about Karin, no way. Things were fragile enough as it was…”Nothing.”

     Something dark passed over Naruto’s face, “Ha? Nothing? I know you’re lying Sasuke, there’s gotta be a trigger. Addicts don’t just relapse for no reason after they’ve been doing so well, it can even be something as small as just stress!”

     “What the hell do you know about being an addict anyway?” He snapped his mouth shut knowing that his words came out much harsher than he intended. His blood was beginning to boil.

      “I’m a psychology major trying to learn to help children with broken families, you think I don’t read about addiction patterns? Come on.” 

      “So, a damn book is going to determine what’s wrong with me!?” Sasuke was almost yelling, his hands clenched around the blankets. “See! This is why I don’t want professional help, you psychologists think you know everything when you have no idea what it’s like.”

      Naruto glared back, “You’re right, I don’t know what it’s like but that doesn’t mean I’m ignorant! I know you’re just deflecting right now so you don’t have to talk about what you’re going through with me.”

      Sasuke stood from the bed and walked to the doorway, pausing just long enough to grab his clothing. 

      “You don’t need to know everything about me, Naruto.” He slammed the bedroom door behind him.

      “Fuck!” Naruto hit his head against the bed frame, mentally kicking himself. “Why do I have to pry so hard!” he muttered to himself, rubbing the sides of his temples. He was already reviewing everything that was said, trying to see where everything went wrong. Sasuke wasn’t telling him something, he felt it. He wouldn’t stay sober for four years only to then do drugs with his friend all night.

      Speaking of, Naruto was going to  _ kill _ Suigetsu when he saw him next.  _ That bastard!! _ Naruto was steaming thinking about how anyone could be so careless as to have hard drugs around a recovering addict. He would definitely pay him a visit later, after he figured out what the hell just happened.

 

_______

 

      “You know the painting department is closed.” Kakashi’s voice was muffled by the black scarf he kept wrapped around the lower half of his face.

      Sasuke had let his feet guide him, unaware of where he was storming off to. He found himself on the bench outside his school staring at the empty building. He had spent so many years there, and they were almost to a close. Just a few more months and he would be moving on… Moving back to Japan maybe? Sasuke shook his head, he had fully intended for Naruto to come back with him after they both graduated, Sasuke happy to stay another year in this miserable town if it meant Naruto would be with him.

       Now, he wasn’t sure if Naruto would want to ever look at him again.

       “Let me guess, trouble in paradise?” Kakashi sat down next to Sasuke, hands digging through his pockets. “You can’t hide shit from me, Sasuke. I’ve been watching you for too long now.” He struck a match, the flames briefly illuminating his silvered hair. Offering the pack to Sasuke he shrugged at the glare he got in return.

       Sasuke watched his teacher inhale his cigarette. “I think I really messed things up with Naruto.”

       “Mah, what a surprise.” Kakashi earned himself an annoyed huff at the jest. “What happened?”

       Clasping his hands together Sasuke looked at the night sky. He had talked to Kakashi before about his family situation, it’s true that the two of them kept nothing from each other. Over the last four years Kakashi had become a mentor to Sasuke, inviting him over for dinner when he knew Sasuke had nothing to eat. They spent hours in the painting studio talking to each other about so many things, he knew about Sasuke’s friends, his family, his mistakes. In the end, Kakashi was closer to Sasuke than his own father ever was.

       “When I was in Japan over winter break my Father said I need to leave Naruto. I had to take over his company, marry a woman of his choosing, and have children. I needed to do this because my brother is dying.”

      “And what did your brother have to say about all of that.” Kakashi inhaled, the glow from the butt casting a strange orange glow over his skin.

      “He said to stay here, and be happy with Naruto until he needed my help.”

      “You’ve told me your father favors Itachi. Do you not think he would respect Itachi’s dying wishes for you to be happy?”

      Sasuke shook his head, “I’m not sure. It doesn’t matter anyway… I fucked everything up.”

      Kakashi eyed Sasuke then tapped his cigarette ash on to the pavement below, “What did you do?”

      Taking a deep, shaky breath, Sasuke pushed down his emotions from earlier. “I think I got Karin pregnant.”

      “That loud redhead girl? I thought you didn’t even like women.” Kakashi sighed when Sasuke didn’t respond. “You  _ think _ you got her pregnant? How so?”

       Groaning into his hands Sasuke muttered, “After the gallery opening last semester Naruto rejected me. I got black out drunk and apparently had sex with her and Suigetsu. I honestly don’t remember much of it.”

       “Tsk, dumbass. If it’s yours, you'll have to take responsibility. You know this. It will be clear the moment that child is born if it’s yours or not.”

       Sasuke shuttered, it had nothing to do with the cold. “I know.”

      “You’re going to have to tell Naruto.”

      “I know.”

      Kakashi stomped out the butt of the cigarette, “From what I can tell of that blonde kid, he loves you and can handle it.” He pocketed the butt to throw away later, “What he won’t be able to handle is you not telling him anything.”

       Sasuke flinched at how true that was, “I know.”

      Standing to leave, “Go tell him then, don’t be a coward.” Kakashi gave him a knowing smile, then strode off without saying goodbye.

 

_______

 

       A soft knock came at the door. Naruto waited for Shikamaru to answer and let him inside. A disheveled Temari pushed passed him and with a glare headed downstairs to the kitchen.

       “Ah! Sorry!” Naruto called after her, blushing. He entered the room with Shikamaru still lounging in bed in a state of half dress. “Sorry for, uh, interrupting.” 

       “What’s wrong?” Shikamaru blunt as always, knew when something was eating away at Naruto. He grabbed his cigarettes from the table and flipped his metal lighter open to light one. Turning the knob on the stereo down, the Led Zeppelin album washed into the background.

       Plopping down into the loveseat Naruto let his head fall back against the wall. “I think Sasuke is hiding something from me, something big.”

       “Are you surprised? You did fall for the ‘mysterious man’.” Naruto glared at him from across the room. “Your words not mine.”

       “What’s that supposed to mean!” Naruto bristled.

       “It means you shouldn’t expect someone like that to tell you everything, especially not all at once.” Shikamaru let his cigarette hang from his lip as he spoke, the smoke wafting up to the ceiling. “Sasuke seems more the type to tell you everything you need to know once he’s ready, and not a second before.”

       Naruto grasped his hands together sitting still on the loveseat. “How am I supposed to not ask what’s going on with him?”

       “Eh, you can ask him. Just don’t be too disappointed when you don’t receive an answer.”

       He pouted at his hands, “But what if he’s hiding something horrible from me…”

       “You take it as it comes. There’s nothing else you can do.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me about how much you love naruto on twitter @kitsuneitsuki <3


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